lY  S ACTING  EDITION. 


I m S H E D 
GENTLEMAN. 


I’^C 


rO^AS  ilAILES  XiiXCX 
* 'J^ATEICAL  BuOKISBLLEK, 

89,  LONDON,  W.  0 


Covent  Garden,) 
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Bull  St. 


Oppusi 

EDli^BU 
BIRM 

BRISTOL.  Toleman, 

BUBLIJN. 

GLASGOW.  Love,  Eno 
LIVERPOOL 
MANCHESTER.  He 
NEWCASTLE  ON  TYNE 
x--  R.iliRKR  jCBAKWOOD.  7, 

Mttskett,  78. 

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1\£W  YORK.  S.  FRENCH,  iri».INas3i 
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The  Colonies^  or  America^ 


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er  St. 

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an  Street. 

;eet  East, 
it  East. 


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TeZ.^ 


ZOMD  TOTTSUXT  .Xeaart  , Sir^^oi?  Ill  OTrdjet*  mv  sexvatutTf 

t»  turn  y9V-  ercLX. 

BILL . /^talcirw  a charrJ^L:vrosxX  \ T shiould'H'k.e  to  see  tiieto  tarm 

me  avLt  i ^ctJ  ■J>‘enM.  !■ 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN 


A FARCE 


IN 

ONE  ACT 


BY 

CHARLES  SELBY,  Comedian, 

[Member  of  the  Dramatic  Authors  Society.] 
AUTHOR  OF 

Captain  Stevens — A Day  in  Paris — The  Boots  at  the  Swan — Catch^ 
ing  an  Heiress — Married  Rake — Widow)' s Victim — Rifle  Brigade — > 
Tutor's  Assistant — Jacques  Strop — Hunting  a Turtle — Dancing 
Barber — Fearful  Tragedy  in  the  Seven  Dials — King's  Gardener — 
Fairy  Lake — Lord  Bateman — Behind  the  Scenes — New  Footman — 
Marceline — A Lady  and  Gentleman  in  a Peculiarly  Perplexing  PredU 
cament — Robert  Macaire — Kinge  Richard  ye  Third — Rival  Pages — 
Peggy  Green — Mysterious  Stranger — Valet  de  Sham — Irish  Dragoon 
— Lioness  of  the  North — Tammg  a Tartar — Phantom  Breakfast — 
Antony  and  Cleopatra — Frank  Fox  Phipps — Pearl  of  the  Ocean — 
White  Sergeants — Hotel  Charges — Phantom  Dancers — Husband  of 
my  Heart — Taken  In  and  Done  For — Chamber  Practice — Witch  of 
Windermere — Fire  Eater — Ask  no  Questions — Judgment  of  Paris — 
Out  on  the  Sly — The  Elves ^ or  the  Statue  Bride — My  Friend  the 
Major , ^c. 


THOMAS  HAILES  LACY, 

89,  STRAND, 

(Opposite  Southampton  Street,  Covent  Ganlen  Market), 
LONDON. 


THE  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 

First  produced  at  the  Adelpki  Theatre, 
December  2,  1834. 


CHARACTERS. 

Lord  Totterly,  an.  Adonis  of  Sixty — a cidevant 
Jeune  Homme  .... 

The  Honorable  Mr.  Frisk*  Flammer/^  Cantab. 

Nephew  of  Lord  Totte>  hj,  a young  Ge  ileman 
with  a vivid  imagination,  sma  l income,  and 
large  debts  .... 

Charles  Danvers,  an  embryo  Barrister  of  Middle 
lemple  ..... 

Billy  Downey,  an  occasional  Porter  and  Shoe- 
black, a diffuser  of  k.iowledye,  a Philos  pher 
a Citizen  of  the  World,  and  an  Unfinished 
Lrentleman  .... 

James  Miller,  t e Hon.  Mr.  Flammer' s'  Tiger 
brought  up  in  the  Stable,  educated  on  the  Turf 
and  pave,  polished  and  completed  at  the  Fives 
Court MV 

Nibble  I Two  Gentlemen  attaches  to  the  Sheriffs,  ( Jh!  SAU^nERS 
^ ■'  commonly  called  Greyhounds  I Vti-  T.v.  , 

Itobert,  Servant  to  Lord  Totterly 

Thomas,  Servant  to  Miss  Bloomfield  \ 

Louisa  Bloomfield,  a Young  Lady,  betrothed  to 
Charles  Danvers 


Mr.  Bennett. 

Mr.  Hemming. 
Mr.  Roberts. 

Mr.  John  Reeve. 


( Mr.  Taylor. 
Mr.  Keen. 


Miss  Cross, 


Mrs.  Keeley. 


Mary  Chintz,  Miss  Bloomfield's  own  Maid,  a real 
treasure,  the  bespoke  of  James  Miller  an  unwil- 
ling  Spinster,  and  a great  Advocate  for  matri- 
mony  ... 

TIME  IN  EEPRESENTATION-I  ho^ 
COSTUMES. 

“'‘t’  fashionable  trousers  Wei 

gown.— Fashionable  morning  dress.  ^ ^ 

Charles  Danvers.— Fashionable  morning'dress. 

Bill  DoWNEY.-Short  overall  trousers,  darned  worsted  stockings  ankle 

^.rs  ’ed  f trimmed  with  3d  Ta  1 

LTa-I,  sleeves,  crop  wig,  old  black  hat  without  a brim - 
nd  dtess.  Large  green  coat,  white  neckcloth,  long  buff  waistcoat 
corf  breeches,  long  leather  riding  gaiters,  rough  -rey  wi- 

^ L^Z-miTe  moustachios.-2»rf 

//»•«<.  T Meeches,  top  boots,  green  frock,  metal  buttons 

Szris3r.te *'■ 


THE  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


SCENE  I. — A Drawing-room  (Sd  grooves).  Tables,  Chairs, 
Sofa,  Guitar,  Books,  Flowers,  ^c.,  dislnbuted  in  picturesque 
confusion. 

Chintz  discovered,^  looking  out  of  a window,^  l. 

Chintz.  Past  three  o’clock  ! I know  I shall  be  disappoint^] 
again  : this  is  the  second  time  my  Jem  will  have  come  to  take 
me  in  his  master’s  cab  to  the  Zoological  Gardens.  I’m  certain 
I shan’t  be  able  to  go— how  provoking ! (looking  out  at  win- 
dow.) There’s  the  cab,  and  there’s  my  Jem!  hell  be  so  dis- 
appointed ; I must  make  signs  to  him.  (shakes  her  heaf  ^c.) 

I can’t  come,  missis  hasn’t  come  honie  ; wait  a lit ; i shall 
get  in  a passion,  presently.  Well,  if  he  hasn’t  got  ^ boy 
hold  the  horse  1 he’s  getting  out— oh,  my  gracious  ! he  has  got 
his  master’s  clothes  on,  what  a shame!  (laughs.)  Oh,  goc^ness 
me  ! if  he  hasn’t  stuck  on  a pair  of  mustachers  /—what  a Iright 
he  does  look ; he’s  coming  in,  I must  run  down  and  send  him 
away,  (going  L.)  Why,  hang  his  impudence  ! if  he  isn  t com- 
ing up  stairs!  What  will  Miss  Bloomfield  say  ? 

Enter  Jem  Miller,  l.  dressed  in  the  extreme  of  modern 
fashion.,  with  large  mustachios. 

Jem.  How  are  you,  my  angelic  angel  ? Here  I am  all  right 
and  regular  ; couldn’t  make  out  your  dumb  talk,  so  bolted  up 
to  ^/elucidate  the  particulars.  What  is  the  row,  eh?  explainez 

Chintz.  Jem,  you  ought  to  be  ashamed  of  yourself  to  come 
up  here ; if  Miss  Bloomfield  were  to  see  you,  I should  never 
hear  the  last  of  it.  (looking  at  him  and  laughing.)  W^here 
did  you  get  those  mustachers"^  You  look  just  like  Lord 

Fitznoodle.  -r 

< Jem.  You  do  me  proud!  parole  d'honneur;  demd  it  you 
^ don’t  1 Why,  you  see,  as  we  were  going  to  give  master’s  cab 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  J 


a determined  to  do  the  thing  in  style ; so  I borrows 

n established  apairof/tizirs,  and  here  I ar 

a fimshed  landscape  of  a gentleman^  all  ready  fo^  Zz^rogi" 

turning  him  round  ) Yes 

I say,  what’s  the  matter?  What  did  vou  mpan  hi 
{imitating  her  action.)  Comme  ga.  ^ 

I couldn’t  get  out : Miss  Bloom 


troiw'e  ? as  the  French  say.  * ~ 

Chintz.  Lord  Totterly. 

Jem.  (astonished.)  Lord  Totterly 
Chintz.  Yes;  do  you  know  him? 

Jem.  Yes ; that  is,  I have  heard  of  him  (aside  t Whaf  . 
piece  of  news  for  my  master ! Lord  Totterley  eh  ’ ^ * 

l.  ™S.  i they  ...  .. 

CHrar^^/do  Yoa  don’t  say  so  I 

Jem.  {musing.)  You  don’t  say  so  ? 

HiN-^  I do.  He’s  old  enough  to  be  her  grandfather 

money  for  the  sake  of  his 

titi^}  dem’d  platologicall—'how  excessively  surrep- 

i.  goiS “» * p‘~«  ‘k.t  »i» 

ChTntz  ° It  ®*1"’?’ti''ely  mythological ! 

chintz.  It  is,  indeed,  Jem;  Ipity  her-I  do,  really,  for  I 


I 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


Sc.  1. 


5 


know  she  is  breaking  her  heart  for  a young  man  she  was  pro- 
mised to,  in  the  country. 

Jem.  Promised  to  a young  man  in  the  country?  You  don’t 
say  so  ? 

Chintz.  I do.  What  a dreadful  thing  it  is  to  be  poor,  isn’t 
it,  Jem? 

Jfm.  Excruciating! — that’s  what  keeps  us  from  being  con- 
nuheral^  isn’t  it,  Polly? 

Chintz.  It  is,  indeed,  Jem — I wish  we  could  get  a prize  in 
the  lottery,  or  something 

Jem.  Ah,  I wish  we  could ! then  we’d  get  married,  take  a 
gin  shop — I mean  a wine  vaults,  and  be  respectable  licensed 
victuallers.  Good  bye,  Polly — I must  go — good  bye  ! 

Chintz.  Good  bye — what,  are  you  going,  Jem?  don’t  you 
mean  to  take  me  to  the  Zoological  Gardens  ? 

Jem.  Why,  you  see  it’s  very  late,  and  master  may  want  the 
cab,  so  I must  go.  (aside.)  I must  tell  him  the  news  about  the 
old  gentleman,  (aloud.)  Good  bye,  Polly — good  bye — (tryina 
to  kiss  her.)  Just  one  ! 

Chintz.  No,  Jem,  it  ain’t  proper. 

Jem.  (going.)  Oh,  very  well. 

Chintz.  But  if  you  insist  upon  it,  and  will  take  off  your 
mustarches.,  why — 

Jem.  Certainment.,  oui!  (taking  off  moustachios.)  There, 
now!  (kisses  her.)  Good  bye — goodbye!  we  must  be 
victuallers.  Exit.,  L. 

Chintz.  What  a dear  fellow  ! I love  him  more  and  more 
every  time  I see  him.  Oh,  dear  ! what  a dreadful  thing  it  is  to 
be  obliged  to  keep  single,  when  one  wants  to  be  married,  (a 
knock.)  Ha ! there  is  Miss  Bloomfield  come  home  at  last. 


Enter  Louisa  Bloomfield,  l.,  in  morning  costume. 

Louisa,  (faintly.)  Give  me  a chair.  Chintz. 

Chintz,  (handing  one.)  Yes,  miss ! La,  miss,  what’s  the 
matter  ? you  look  ill — what  has  happened  ? 

Louisa.  Oh,  Chintz,  I have  had  such  a dreadful  shock ! — 
such  an  unfortunate  meeting  ! I have  seen  him.  Chintz. 

Chintz.  Seen  him  ! who,  miss  ? (aside.)  Not  my  Jem,  I 
hope. 

Louisa.  The  only  being  I wished  to  have  avoided — the  only 
person  1 dreaded  to  meet — Charles  Danvers. 

Chintz.  The  gentleman  you  were  to  have  been  married  to, 
in  the  country — oh,  dear — I’m  so  sorry  I Where  did  you  see 
him,  miss  ? 

Louisa.  In  Regent  Street ; just  as  I was  leaving  my  milliner’s 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


6 


Sc.  1. 


be  saw  me,  Chintz,  and  I am  certain  has  followed  the  car- 
riage home-  What  will  become  of  me? 

Chintz.  Ah,  miss,  it’s  very  distressing — very  unfortunate,  in- 
deed. I don’t  know  how  to  advise  you.  (aside.)  Oh,  I’m  so  glad 
I’m  not  a young  lady,  to  be  obliged  to  marry  an  old  twaddling 
lord,  against  my  inclination.  I’d  rather  be  a servant,  and 
marry  a man  I loved,  and  could  be  comfortable  with. 

Louisa.  I dread  to  reflect  on  my  conduct  to  Danvers,  after 
the  vows  that  passed  between  us.  How  can  I meet  him  as  the 
promised  wife  of  another  ! what  will  he  think — what  will  he 
say  to  me  ? 


Enter  Thomas,  l.,  aymouncing — Mr.  Danvers ! 

Enter  Danvers,  l. — Exit  Thomas,  l. 

Danvers.  Louisa  —my  dear  Louisa,  (embracing  her.) 

Louisa.  Oh,  Charles,  why  are  you  here — why  have  you 
followed  me?  If  you  love  me,  leave  me— your  presence  here 
exposes  me  to  misery  and  ruin. 

Danvers,  (astonished.)  Misery  and  ruin ! what  mean  you, 
Louisa  ? 

Louisa.  Spare  me,  Charles,  spare  me  the  recital  of  the 
unhappy  events  which  have  urged  me  to  the  fatal  step  I am 
about  to  take.  Do  not  despise,  but  pity  me,  Charles — I am 
going  to  be  married 

Danvers,  (emphatically.)  Married! 

Louisa.  Calm  yourself,  Charles — pray  be  calm  ; fate  has  so 
decreed  it).  The  banker  in  whose  hands  the  whole  of  my  father’s 
property  was  placed,  has  failed  ; and  it  is  to  save  my  parent 
from  a prison  that  I sacrifice  my  happiness,  by  becoming  the 
wife  of  liOrd  Totterly. 

Danvers.  Lord  Totterly ! Oh,  Louisa ! can  you  marry 
him  ? — an  old  infirm  roue ! Do  not,  I intreat  you,  sell  yourself 
to  age  and  vice  ! do  not  become  that  miserable — that  degraded 
slave,  a purchased  wife. 

Louisa.  Oh,  Charles ! in  mercy  spare  me ! do  not  add  to 
my  misery.  Though  I sacrifice  all  that  is  dear  to  me — though 
my  heart  may  break,  I will  save  my  father  1 Farewell, 
dearest  friend — we  must  part.  I dare  not  see  you  again — 
farewell  1 Forget  me,  Charles — forget  one  whom  stern  neces- 
sity alone  has  forced  to  renounce  you — farewell ! farewell ! 

(she  sinks  into  a chair. 

Danvers.  Dearest  Louisa  1 I will  no  longer  distress  you  by 
my  presence  ; I obey  your  wish—  we  will  part — I resign  you, 
in  doing  so,  I become  a lost  and  miserable  man.  Farewell, 
dearest ! in  other  lands  I will  seek  a home — try  to  forget  the 


Sc.  1. 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


7 


friends  I leave  behind,  and  find  relief  and  happiness  in  the 
grave.  Farewell,  Louisa  ! on  this  dear  hand  let  me  imprint 
one  kiss  of  love,  respect,  and  resignation. 

(Danvers  kneels  and  kisses  her  hand — Lord  Totterly 
enters  hastily^  l. — he  std^rts  on  seeing  Danvers  on  his  knees 
— Chintz  snatches  some  shoes  from  the  R.  table — kneels 
down  on  r.  0/ Louisa,  loho  is  seated  c.  and  preterids  to  he 
trying  them  on — Picture. 

Lord  T.  Ah  ! what  is  all  this  ? (^putting  up  his  eye  glass') 

Chintz.  Try  these,  Mr.  Hobbs — those  are  too  small. 

Lord  T.  Oh,  he’s  only  a shoe-maker  ! I took  him  for  some- 
thing worse. 

Chintz.  Dear  me,  how  awkward  you  are,  Mr.  Hobbs — let 
me  put  it  on.  {putting  shoe  on  Louisa’s  foot.)  Ah  ! that’s  better, 
isn’t  it,  miss?  {looking  up  with  great  simplicity.)  Oh,  there’s  my 
lord  ! now  your  lordship  is  a judge  of  these  matters — don’t  you 
think  tliat  shoe  fits  beautiful  ? 

Lord  T.  Oh,  beautiful ! beautiful ! never  saw  anything  better 
in  my  life. 

Chintz.  No  more  did  I,  my  lord,  never!  La!  miss,  1 
declare  the  exertion  has  quite  brought  the  colour  into  your  face  ! 
How  could  you  be  so  stupid,  Mr. Hobbs,  as  not  to  bring  a shoe 
horn ; how  is  it  possible  to  get  on  new  slippers  without  one  ? 
You  are  a pretty  fellow  for  a shoe  maker — you  shan’t  work 
for  me. 

Lord  T.  Hem ! Miss  Bloomfield,  when  you  have  done  with 
Mr.  Hobbs,  I would  speak  a few  words  with  you. 

Louisa,  {rising.)  Certainly,  my  lord  ; I arn  at  your  service. 

Chintz.  Good  morning,  Mr.  Hobbs ; you  had  better  take 
this  pair  back — {giving  him  a pair  of  shoes.)—  they  won’t  do  at 
all,  and  when  the  others  are  done,  bring  them  home  imme- 
diately— the  wedding  is  to  take  place  to-morrow,  so,  {pointing.) 
I would  advise  you  to  bring  them  home  to-night.  How  could 
you  come  without  a shoe  horn,  you  stupid  fellow,  {pointing.) 
What  would  you  have  done  without  me  ? {pushes  him  off.,  l.) 

Lord  T.  Now,  Louisa,  my  dearest  love,  I called  to  tell  you — • 
{seeing  Chintz,  who  is  listening.,  and  when  observed^  pretends  to 
he  folding  up  a shawl.)  Mistress  Chirftz,  your  absence  is  more 
desired  than  your  presence — do  me  the  favour  to  amuse  your- 
self in  another  apartment. 

Chintz.  Certainly,  my  lord,  {aside.)  Ugly  old  fool  1 He 
won’t  be  long  without  a shoe  horn  1 Exit.,  r. 

Lord  T.  I came  to  tell  you,  my  dearest  love,  that  I have 
been  to  the  Acre,  and  have  seen  our  carriage  ; it  is  the  most 
elegant  thing  ever  seen — a perfect  picture  ! I want  to  consult 
with  you,  ma  belle  ange^  on  the  point  of  the  linings.  What 


8 UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  1 

colour  do  you  prefer  ?— would  you  like  ponceau,  vermeille,  fleur 
a orange^  or  coleur  de  rose  ? I should  recommend  the  latter  as 
uest  assimilating  to  the  blooming  complexion  of  the  lovely 
oeing  who  will  grace  the  vehicle  with  her  resplendent  charms. 

Louisa.  Your  taste,  my  lord,  is  so  exquisite,  I mus/declTne 
making  any  choice,  (sighing.)  Whatever  pleases  you,  must 
please  me.  ’ 

Lord  T.  Oh,  you  flatter ! (aside.)  Dear  creature ! how  fond 
she  IS  of  me— I must  be  getting  young  again— wjye  V amour  t 
1 m still  a beau  gar-fon- still  a mauvais  sujet.  Ha,  ha,  ha  '— 
all  the  women  are  in  love  with  me.  (aloud.)  My  dearest  love 
have  you  everything  you  wish  for  ?— can  1 present  you  with 
any  httle  or  objet  f I’ll  fly  on  the  wings  of  love— appronos 
ot  Love,  — I have  written  an  epigram  upon  him ; you  shall 
iic^r  it. 


“ Love  is  a little  teaze — a, 
And  difficult  to  please — a, 
Sweet  as  a summer  breeze — a, 
And  charming  as  Louisa ! ” 


Ha,  ha,  ha!— pretty  isn’t  it?— quite  in  the  Byronic  style— 
bweet  as  a summer  breeze — a 1 ” very  imaginative  that ; so 
uncommon,  so  expressive  of  warmth,  green  fields,  and  fiowers— 
1 11  have  It  copied  on  pink  paper,  and  send  it  to  one  of  the 
annuals.  But  my  dearest  love,  you  .seem  dull ! Tell  me  how 
spirits — I would  do  anything  to  make  you 


Louisa.  Would  you,  my  lord?  (sighing.)  Ah,  it  is  in  your 
Hi  maL’^e  happy— but  nothing  you  can  purchase 


Lord  T.  (patting  her  cheek.)  Affectionate  creature  I (aside  ) 
How  she  loves  me  1- how  delicately  she  hints  that  I am  the 
sole  object  of  her  regard,  and  that  the  possession  of  me  is  the 
only  thing  that  ^n  make  her  happy ! Charming  Louisa,  I 
understand  your  kind  insinuation— to-morrow  I will  present 
to  you  the  man  you  love — ^ 

Louisa.  My  lord? 

Lord  T.  My  unworthy  self ; and  shall  be  glad  to  purchase 
happiness  by  making  you  my  wife.  I-  <tse 

Louisa,  (aside.)  Purchase  happiness ! — oh,  misery— ’tis  true, 
he  does  purchase  me!  (staggers  to  a chair.)  Oh,  father,  to 
what  de^adation  have  I doomed  myself  for  your  sake ' 

u matter?— she’s  going  to  Vaint- 

I do  ?— I m not  SO  active  on  these  occasions  as  I 
used  to  be.  (slapping  her  hands,  fanning  her  with  his  hat,  ^c.) 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


Sc.  1. 


9 


Louisa — Louisa  ! — my  dearest  love,  don’t  faint ; I shall  let  you 
fall  if  you  do — what  is  the  matter  ? 

Louisa.  Nothing — nothing,  my  lord — the  heat  of  the  wea- 
ther, ’tis  nothing. 

Lord  T.  Ah,  I dare  say  it  is  the  weather  ; and  that  con- 
founded Hobbs,  the  shoemaker — I saw  you  were  flushed  whep 
I entered  the  room,  (ringing  hand  hell.) 

Enter  Chintz,  l. 

Mistress  Chintz,  attend  to  your  lady — the  heat  of  the  weather, 
and  the  awkwardness  of  that  shoemaker  have  been  too  much 
for  her — don’t  let  the  fellow  come  here  again.  You’ll  be  bet- 
ter soon,  my  dearest.  Adieu,  ma  belle — au  revoir ! I’m  sure 
your  agitation  was  caused  by  that  confounded  Hobbs — I shall 
detest  shoemakers  and  the  name  of  Hobbs  as  long  as  I live. 

Exit.^  L. 

Louisa.  Is  he  gone.  Chintz? 

Chintz.  Do  you  mean  my  lord,  miss,  or  Mr.  Hobbs,  the 
shoemaker ? (pointedly.) 

Louisa.  Charles,  Charles — where  is  he — is  he  gone  ? 

Chintz.  Yes,  miss ; I followed  him  down  stairs,  and  saw 
him  out.  Poor  dear  young  young  man,  he’ll  commit  parricide 
or  fall  into  the  sea,  or  do  something  uncommonly  dreadful. 
Oh,  miss,  he  looked  just  like  what  we  read  of  the  “ Last  Man.” 
I don’t  mean  a shoemaker — he  looked  as  if  he  were  alone  in 
the  world,  and  didn’t  know  what  to  do  with  himself. 

Louisa.  Poor  fellow ! 

Chintz.  Ah,  miss,  poor  fellow  indeed  ! he  did  look  very 
poorly.  He  walked  down  stairs,  stopping  at  every  third  step 
to  thump  his  head,  and  button  and  unbutton  his  coat ; so  for 
fear  my  lord  might  come,  or  any  of  the  servants  should  see  him, 
I thought  I’d  try  to  get  him  out  quietly.  I tapped  him  on  the 
shoulder — well,  he  started  like  they  do  in  the  plays — “ Chintz,” 
said  he,  holding  both  my  hands,  and  looking  me  full  in  the 
face — “ Chintz,  you  are  a good  girl — a very  good  girl — I won’t 
forget  your  kindness.”  Then  he  felt  in  his  pockets,  but  I sup- 
pose he  couldn’t  find  any  money — “ Tell  your  mistress — ” then 
he  hit  his  forehead,  and  shaked  his  head  and  cr unshed  up  his 
hat — “ tell  your  mistress  not  to  despair — I will  see  her  again.” 
Then  he  squeezed  my  hands  in  his,  ready  to  crunsh  ’em  like  his 
poor  hat,  and  stared  in  my  face  with  his  eyes  as  red  as  fire-^ 
“ tell  her  she  shall  be  mine,  in  spite  of  the  devil  and  all  the 
lords  in  the  world.”  Then  he  ran  down  stairs,  dashed  through 
the  door,  jumped  into  a dirty  cab,  and  vanished  round  the 
corner. 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


10 


Sc.  2 


Louisa.  Poor  Charles ! it  grieves  me  to  part  with  him  ; yes, 
’tis  unavoidable — should  you  hear  anything  of  him,  Chintz,  do 
not  fail  to  let  me  know  immediately.  Exit^  r. 

Chintz.  Yes,  miss.  Poor  young  lady,  what  a victim  she  is 
of  the  tender  passion — tender ! I’m  sure  it’s  anything  but 
tender  ; for  it’s  very  hard  to  bear.  I know  what  her  feeliugs 
are,  for  I’m  a victim  myself.  Oh,  dear!  I wish  parliament 
would  make  a law  for  the  encouragement  of  matrimony — It 
would  prevent  a great  deal  of  mischief,  and  be  a real  blessing 
to  ladies’  own  maids,  and  gentlemen’s  tigers.  Exit  l. 


SCENE  II. — A Handsome  Chamber — a practical  windoiv^  R.  c. 
and  door  in  jiat^  l.  c. — {2nd  grooves.) 

Flammer.  {ivithout.)  Miller!  Miller  ! James!  James!  where 
the  devil  are  you  ? 

Enter  Flammer,  in  a dressing-gown.^  L. 

I wonder  what  has  become  of  my  rascally  tiger — he’s  always 
out  of  the  way  when  I want  him — always  attending  to  his  own 
business,  and  neglecting  mine 

Enter  Jem,  in  his  livery D.  in  F. 

Jem.  Want  me,  sir  ? 

Flam.  So,  you’ve  come  home  at  last,  you  rascal ! I’ve  a great 
mind  to  discharge  you  for  your  neglect.  Where  have  you 
been,  sir? 

Jem.  Looking  after  the  horse,  and  seeing  them  clean  the 
cab,  sir.  I’ve  such  a piece  of  news  for  you,  sir. 

Flam.  News!  what  news? 

Jem.  ’Tickler  bad,  sir — it’s  all  up  with  you,  sir — you  are 
dished — regularly  floored,  and  distinguished  ! 

Flam.  What  do  you  mean  ? have  the  bailiffs  followed  me 
from  Cambridge,  or  has  that  confounded  beadle — 

Jem.  Oh,  worse  than  that,  sir,  a precious  ight ! you’ll  be 
regularly  done  up,  and  put  by — quite  smashed. 

Flam.  Speak  out,  sir — what’s  the  matter  ? 

J EM.  Why,  sir,  your  uncle.  Lord  Totterly,  is  going  to  show 
fight,  and  enter  the  ring  again. 

Flam.  What  the  devil  do  you  mean  by  show  fight,  and  enter 
the  ring  again  ? 

«I EM.  Why,  sir,  the  stupid  old  fool — 

Flam.  What,  sir! 

Jem.  I mean,  my  lord — your  uncle,  sir — is  going  to  be 
married. 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


11 


Sc.  2. 

Flam.  Married  ! (astonished.) 

Jem.  Yes,  sir,  he  has  been  in  training  for  it  some  time. 

Flam.  My  uncle  marry,  at  his  time  of  life ! What  could 
have  induced  him  to  think  of  such  a thing  ! Marry  at  sixty ! 

Jem.  Oh,  sir,  that’s  nothing — the  olderer  a man  grows,  the 
more  foolisher  he  gets,  ’specially  where  women  are  concerned, 
the  old  ’uns  are  Hicicler  conceited  on  that  point — all  of  ’em. 

Flam.  ’Tis  cursed  unlucky  ! What  the  devil’s  to  be  done  ’ 
I must  not  let  my  uncle  make  a fool  of  himself — I must  pre- 
vent this  marriage. 

Jem.  Certainly,  sir ; but  how  will  you  set  about  it  ? 

Flam.  I must  concert  some  scheme.  Who  is  the  lady  ? 

Jem.  Miss  Louisa  Bloomfield,  a lovely  young  girl,  sir,  rising 
eighteen  years  old,  sir — just  what  you  would  call  a Venus  of 
medicine  ! 

Flam.  Indeed ! How  did  you  obtain  your  information  ? 

Jem.  I keep  company  with  her  maid,  sir — she  told  it  me 
promiscuously.  Your  uncle,  sir,  begging  your  pardon,  will 
stand  but  a poor  chance,  for  Miss  loves  a young  man  who  is 
down  in  the  country ; so  I think,  when  a young  woman  mar- 
ries an  old  man,  and  loves  a young  one,  the  old  un’s  rather 
awkwardly  situated. 

Flam.  This  is  an  unexpected  misfortune  — ’twill  play  the 
devil  with  my  future  prospects.  Do  you  know  when  this  con- 
founded marriage  is  to  take  place  ? 

J EM.  To-morrow  morning,  sir. 

Flam.  So  soon ! no  time  is  to  be  lost,  then  ! (taking  off  his 
dressing  gown.)  Get  me  my  coat ; I’ll  go  to  his  lordship  at 
once ; perhaps  I may  persuade  him  from  his  folly. 

Nibble,  (without.)  I will  go  up,  I tell  you ! you  dare  to 
stop  me ! 

Voice,  (without.)  But  I say  you  shan’t ! — I will  stop  you  ! 

Flam.  Hollo!  what’s  the  matter?  look  out,  Jem.  (Jem 
Miller  goes  out  at  d.  m f.)  I’m  afraid  some  of  my  Cambridge 
friends  have  found  me  out. 

Enter  Jem  Miller,  at  d.  in  f.,  he  locks  it. 

Jem.  Another  fioorer,  sir ; you  are  wanted  for  the  bill  you 
forgot  to  pay  at  Cambridge  ; the  bailiffs  are  in  the  house,  and 
forcing  their  way  up  stairs. 

Flam.  Confound  the  rascals  I I’ll  make  my  escape ! (going 
toioards  the  door.,  a violent  knocking  is  heard  at  it  ) 

Nibble,  (without.)  Let  me  in,  let  me  in  1 open  the  door ! 

Flam.  They  shan’t  have  me ; I’ll  jump  out  of  the  window " 
(opening  it.)  Jem,  put  them  off  the  scent,  and  follow  me  to 
Mi.  Danvers’  chambers  in  the  Temple  j I’U  give  them  a run 


o.  C-  LiB. 


12 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


Sc.  3. 

for  it,  at  all  events — here  goes ! (he  gets  out  at  the  window^ 
R.  c.  Jem  puts  on  the  dressing  gown^  sticks  on  his  mustachios^ 
and  walks  up  and  down.  Nibble  and  Catch  Jorce  the  door^ 
L.  c.  and  enter,) 

Nibble.  Well,  I say  Mr.  Flimmer,  arn’t  you  a nice  article, 
to  give  us  such  a sight  of  trouble  ? Why  did  you  lock  the 
door  ? It’s  o’  no  use  your  trying  to  queer  us  ; we  are  sure  to 
have  you,  sooner  or  later.  Come,  it’s  no  use  your  walking  up 
and  down  in  that  furious  way — it  won’t  do  you  no  good — 
we’ve  got  you,  so  make  up  your  mind  to  the  concarn.  Come, 
put  on  your  coat,  for  I’ve  got  to  nab  six  or  seven  more 
swindlers,  so  come  along  ; put  on  your  togs.  Will  you  walk  it, 
or  have  a rattler  ? 

Jem.  (turning  round,)  A rattler ! Damme,  I’ll  give  you  a 
rattler,  if  you  don’t  be  off!  (Bailiffs  Ha!  ha!  ha! 

we’ve  done  you,  old  un  ! Master  has  bolted,  and  is  in  another 
county  by  this  time  ; ha  ! ha  ! ha ! it’s  no  use  trying  to  queer 
you,  is  it  ? ha ! ha ! ha  ! 

Nibble.  He  has  escaped  out  of  the  window  ; Sara,  run  down 
to  the  door.  (Exit  Catch,  l.  c.)  We’ll  have  him  yet — I’ll  work 
you  for  this,  Mr.  Bull-and-mouth ! I’ll  teach  you  to  assist  an 
escape.  He  gets  out  at  the  window  ; pushes  him,  he  disap- 
pears— a crash  is  heard.) 

Jem.  Ha!  ha!  ha!  he  has  gone  bang  through  a sky-light  I 
Ha ! ha ! ha ! poor  devil ! ha ! ha ! ha ! Exit,  r. 


SCENE  III. — An  Apartment  in  the  Temple.  (Hh  grooves) 
A practicable  window  in  flat,  R.,  or  entrance  door,  l.,  two 
chairs  and  a table,  c.,  with  a luncheon  tray,  on  which  is  cold 
beef,  ^c. 

Enter  Danvers,  l. 

Danvers.  This,  then,  is  the  death  of  all  my  hopes — the  end 
of  all  my  dreams  of  happiness.  Louisa  has  forsaken  me,  and 
to-morrow  will  be  the  wife  of  another.  She  is  lost  to  me  for 
ever — yes,  for  ever.  I have  resigned  her.  I must  strive  to 
forget  her.  Forget ! — would  that  were  possible  ? (a  knock.) 
Who’s  there — is  it  you,  Thomas  ? 

Enter  Bill  Downy,  l. 

Bill.  It  arn’t  Thomas — it  be  I. 

Danvers.  Well,  what  do  you  want  ? 

Bill.  Nothing.  I don’t  want  nothing — but  there’s  a man 
below  what  wants  you. 

Danvers.  Wants  me  ; what  man? 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


13 


Sc.  3. 

Bill.  How  should  I know — I never  seed  him  afore. 

Danvers.  What  does  he  want  ? 

Bill.  He  wants  you,  I tell  ye. 

Danvers.  I know  ; but  what  does  he  want  with  me  ? 

Bill.  How  should  I know  ? I didn’t  ax ’im. 

Danvers.  Leave  the  room. 

Bill.  I woul.  (going.)  Shall  I send  up  the  chap  ? 

Danvers.  Yes. 

Bill,  (calling.)  Here ! come  up,  you  sir  ! (touching  his 
head.)  I wants  a penny  o’  you,  Mr.  Danvers. 

Danvers.  A penny  ? 

Bill.  Yes,  a penny — it’s  my  regular.  When  T answers  for 
a gentleman  and  brings  people  up  to  him,  I always  expects  it. 
If  so  be  they  be  gentlemen  as  axes  for  any  one,  I gets  it  o’ 
them  ; but  if  so  be  they  ain’t,  why  I gets  it  o’  them  they  axes 
for.  The  chap  wot  wants  you  ain’t  no  gentleman,  so  I wants 
the  penny  o’  you.  Dub  up  ! (liolding  out  his  hand.) 

Danvers,  (giving  money.)  There,  send  the  man  up,  and 
bring  me  some  porter. 

! Bill.  I woul — thank  you,  sir.  If  you  wants  any  arrans 
done,  you  knows  where  to  find  me.  I’s  always  on  the  look  out 
down  at  the  gate.  I charges  either  by  time  or  distance, 
accordin’ — and  if  it  arn’t  convenient  to  pay  when  I ha’  done 
the  work,  why,  as  you  are  a gentleman,  I’ll  trust  you  a penny 
or  so.  I arn’t  particular  to  them  I knows,  (calling.)  Come  up, 
you  sir ! Servant,  Mr.  Danvers.  Porter,  you  said — I likes 
half-and-half.  Exit.,  l. 

Danvers.  I wonder  who  can  want  to  see  me?  Perhaps 
some  messenger  from  Louisa.  No,  that  is  impossible — she  does 
not  know  my  address. 

Enter  Flammer,  l.,  in  a fustian  jacket  and  paper  cap. 

Flam.  Danvers ! my  dear  fellow,  how  are  you  ? Don’t  you 
know  me,  eh  ? 

Danvers.  What,  Flammer,  is  it  you?  Why,  what  have 
you  been  about  ? What  is  the  meaning  of  that  singular 
costume  ? 

Flam.  It’s  eccentric,  isn’t  it  ? I have  been  coursed.  The 
truth  is,  the  greyhounds  were  after  me — ‘‘  Middlesex  to  wit,” 
you  know — suspicion  of  debt;  caught  dressing — jumped  out  of 
a window — ran  along  the  roof  of  an  outhouse — trying  to  step 
ever  a skylight,  fell  through  it  into  the  next  house — scrambled 
up,  and  ran  into  the  next  street — greyhounds  close  at  my  heels 
— got  round  a corner — dashed  into  a public  house — told  my 
story — borrowed  this  jacket  and  cap  from  a patriotic  painter — 
— ^sallied  out  again — upset  three  old  apple- women — embraced  a 

UNFINISHE  > B 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  3 


nf  uSMn  ft  Stimulating  shout 

of  “Stop  thief!  ” “ Go  It,  swell ! >’  and  “ Bravo  pkinter  t ” Tv, 
reached  your  chambers.  There  is  a full,  true,  Ld  particula- 
account  of  the  miraculous  escape  of  your  most  obedient  Frkl 
Flammer ! Now,  if  you  have  no  objection, TwHl  tip  >0  "^ 

emolish  some  of  that  cold  beef— coursing  makes  one\migry 

Dahiwuho  h/t  1 1^  . . (^sitting  at  table  and  eating. 

Danvers.  Make  yourself  at  home,  I beg.  You  wiU  warn 
something  to  drink — will  you  take  wine  or  porter  ’ 

I RAM.  Oh,  porter,  by  all  means.  I could  drink  a gallon. 

Danvers.  My  laundress  is  from  home,  but  I’ll  procure 
some— (opens  door,  l.)  Bill ! x n procime 

Biel,  (withont.)  Sur ! 

Danvers.  Bring  the  porter. 

Bill,  (without.)  Yes,  sur. 

Flam,  (eating.)  You  would  have  laughed,  Danvers,  to  have 
seen  the  astonishment  of  the  people  into  whose  house  I tumbled 
Ihey  were  at  c inner  ; I fell  upon  the  table,  upset  a tureen  of 
soup  over  an  old  lady,  smashed  the  glasses,  broke  the  crockery 

Semat  an^  down  an  7d 

gentleman,  and  made  my  escape  to  the  rattling  of  plates  and 

g asses,  the  screaming  of  the  old  lady,  the  roaring  of  the  old 
pntleman,  and  the  yelping  of  the  lap-dog — Ha,  ha,  ha!  A 
bull  in  a china-shop  could  not  have  been  a more  formidable' 
intruder,  or  have  done  more  mischief.  ^ 


Enter  Bill  Downey,  l.,  ivith  a pot  of  porter. 

I StougUalot 

Flam.  That’s  your  sort ! give  me  hold,  (taking  it  and  drink- 

T rf ***®^'^  ^ 'Jncommon  imp’rent ! 

painter!  ■ that  ’ere?  Look  at  the 

^ ha,  ha,  ha ! (throwing  hit  cap  at  Bill  ) 
hy , you  stupid  old  scarecrow— do  you  take  me  for  a painter ’J 

WpII  '^T'r  J yoii  calls  yourself  a har.\ 

tist  f Well,  I m blowed  if  he  hasn’t  got  a pair  of  spurs  on  as! 
long  as  my  harm  AVho  wouldn’t  be  a harteetf  I say  Mr  J 
Hddpr«’  ^ ^'ding  a plank,  between  two] 

“Sr  ^ do  it  prime!  (inutatinA 

Flam.  Your  servant  seems  a free-and-easy  sort  of  fellow  ! T 
• I arn’t  no  sarvant  of  his’n,  Mr.  Painter.  I 
oxen  t got  no  master— I’m  m the  gentleman  line. 

. ±LAM.  In  the  gentleman  line!  What  do  you  mean  by  that  ? 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


Sc.  3. 


15 


Bill.  Why,  I does  what  I likes ! if  I likes  to  work,  I does — 
and  if  I doesn’t,  I doesn’t — according  as  I pleases — so  I am  a 
gentleman,  arn’t  I? 

Flam.  Certainly.  I see  you  know  what  constitutes  a gen- 
tleman. 

Bill.  In  course  I does.  I knows  all  about  it,  thof  there  be 
some  rum  ’uns  in  that  line  as  well  as  another — aren’t  there, 
Mr.  Danvers  ? 

Danvers.  Certainly — no  rule  without  an  exception. 

Bill.  In  course — no  fool  without  a reflection,  as  you  says. — 
Now,  this  painter  friend  o’yourn — now  he  be  a case  in  pint, 

Danvers.  In  what  way  ? 

Flam.  Ah,  let’s  have  it ! give  us  your  case  in  pint,,  old  boy. 

Bill.  I arn’t  a speaking  to  you,  Mr.  Painter.  I draws  my 
Amference  in  this  here  way.  Look  at  ’un — {points  to  Flam- 
MERS.)  he  be  like  a pint  o’  half-and-half — neither  one  thing 
nor  ’tother — half  swell,  half  painter — a would-if-I-could  sort  of 
a chap.  He  wants  to  pass  for  a gentleman,  but  it  won’t  do. 
Them  wot  is  gentlemen  twigs  the  painter,  thof  he  does  sport 
spurs. 

Flam.  Do  you  mean  to  insinuate,  then,  that  you  are  a gen- 
tleman ? 

Bill.  In  course  I are — and  a real  gentleman,  that’s  more, 
Mr.  Painter. 

Flam.  Ha,  ha,  ha ! {aside  to  Danvers.)  This  fellow  is  ,a 
character — I’ll  draw  him  out.  {aloud,,  laughing  violently,)  A 
gentleman ! ha,  ha,  ha ! 

Bill.  You  may  ha,  ha,  ha  ! as  much  as  you  like,  but  I are  a 
gentleman.  I aren’t  a swell,  I grant  you — but  if  I pays  my 
way,  never  does  no  wrong  to  no  one,  takes  care  of  my  old 
mother,  helps  them  as  is  worser  off  than  myself,  and  am  ready 
to  serve  my  country  if  required,  I says  I are  a gentleman. 
Arn’t  I right,  Mr.  Danvers  ? It’s  the  conduct — it  arn’t  the 
toggery. 

Danvers.  You  are  right ; many  a man  who  wears  a good 
coat  is  not  a gentleman,  though  he  may  pass  for  one.  I see 
you  are  an  observer  of  life — how  did  you  pick  up  your  informa- 
tion and  knowledge  of  the  world  ? 

Bill.  I don’t  know,  sir ; sometimes  one  time,  and  sometimes 
another — thof  I larnt  the  most  when  I was  a literary  man. 

Flam,  (bursting  into  a laugh.)  A literary  man  ! How  do  you 
mean  ? 

Bill.  I carried  out  the  newspapers — I helped  to  spread 
knowledge  and  amusement.  What  literary  man  does  more  ? 

Flam.  Right  again ! I see  you  are  a philosopher.  But  tell 


16 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


Sc.  3 


me,  in  what  way  did  you  obtain  your  practical  knowledge- 
what  principle  do  you  go  upon  ? ° 

Bill.  Why,  upon  a honest  principle— to  work  for  my  livini 
and  never  steal  nothing.  ^ ' 

Flam.  How  came  you  then,  to  cut  the  news  establishment  1 
^ILL.  V\  hy,  I met  with  a misfortun. 

Fi.am.  a misfortune  ! How  ? 

Bill.  Why,  I found  something. 

Flam.  Found  something!  you  mean  you  stole  something. 
Bill.  No,  I doesn’t— I means  what  I says.  I found  some- 
thing— something  that  ruined  me. 

Flam.  Indeed!  what  was  it? 

Bill.  Seven  pounds,  ten  shillings— all  in  ha’pence.  I picked 
It  up  m the  street. 

F LAM.  Why,  how  could  that  ruin  you  ? 

Bill.  ’Cause  it  did.  I got  drunk  for  a whole  fortnight  and 
^ost  my  place—  But  it  larnt  me  a lesson. 

Flam.  Never  to  pick  up  anything  in  the  street,  I suppose. 
Bill.  No,  it  warn’t  that.  ■ 

Flam.  What  was  it,  then  ? 

Bill.  Never  to  get  drunk  and  neglect  my  duty.  ‘ 

I LAM.  A very  useful  lesson,  indeed.  But  couldn’t  you  set 
some  other  employment?  ^ ® 

Bill.  No  ; I had  got  a bad  character,  and  nobody  would 

nave  me.  Character  is  all  a poor  man’s  got  to  depend  upon 

it  he  loses  that,  he’s  sure  to  go  to  ruin.  ^ 

Flam.  Hundreds  have  proved  it  so.  But  how  did  you  ^et 
your  living?  ^ ^ 

Bill.  Why,  I don’t  know.  I did  all  sorts  o’  things.  I held 
/losses  for  gentlemen  in  the  streets,  ran  arrans  for  the  cooks,  and 
cleaned  shoes.  I did  think  of  buying  a broom  and  setting  up 
tor  a sweeper,  but  I couldn’t  get  never  a crossin’.  ^ 

Flam.  I don’t  understand.  ; 

Bill.  Why,  they  wei^e  all  engaged  by  gentlemen  wot  paidi 
lor  their  places  ; so,  as  I hadn’t  got  no  money  to  tip  the  street- 
sweepep’^ociation,  I war  obligated  to  give  up  the  hidea  of  a 
public  homce,  and  turn  waggabond. 

Flam.  How  was  that  ? 

Bill.  Why,  1 went  on  the  stage. 

Flam.  What ! turned  actor  ? 

Bill.  Yes,  I used  to  hact. 

Flam.  Hamlet  and  Borneo,  I suppose  ? 

Bill.  No — I war  a pantomime  hactor. 

Flam.  Oh,  you  played  harlequin. 

^ pW  **16  belephant. 

±LAM.  {laughing.)  The  hind  legs  of  the  elephant  1 


Sc.  3.  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  17 

Bill.  Yes,  I did — fifty-three  successful  nights. 

(imitating  the  walk  of  an  elephant. 

Flam.  Astonishing  effort  of  genius. 

Bill.  Ah,  you  may  say  that.  It  required  a deal  of  genius,  I 
can  tell  you.  There’s  a hart  even  in  hacting  a helephant’s 
legs.  You  can  find  out  the  stager  from  the  hammertiire  by  the 
way  he  does  the  walk  and  makes  a hexit.  I might  have  been 
a hactor  now,  but  I met  with  a misfortun. 

Flam.  Indeed ! in  what  way ! 

Bill.  Why,  my  partner,  wot  did  the  fore  legs  and  I hap- 
pened to  fall  hout  when  we  was  hin  the  helephant — so  we  had 
a fight,  and  the  consequence  was,  we  upset  the  whole  consarn. 

Flam.  Ha,  ha ! what  a calamity  ! 

Bill.  It  were,  indeed ; I shall  never  forget  the  row.  How 
the  people  laughed,  and  how  the  manager  swore!  Well,  in 
course  I got  the  bag,  and  was  turned  out — they  wouldn’t  have 
no  stupid  numeries  what  wasn’t  peaceable  and  ^7/egitimate — so 
I learnt  another  lesson. 

Flam.  What  was  it  ? 

Bill.  Never  to  lose  my  temper  and  kick  up  a row. 

Flam.  What  did  you  take  to  next  ? 

Bill.  Why  I went  into  the  mercantile  line.  I sold  clothes 
props  and  pegs — but  it  didn’t  answer. 

Flam.  Why  not? 

Bill.  Why,  for  this  here  reason ; I bought  my  wood,  and 
others  in  the  same  line  stole  their’s,  so  they  could  afford  to  un- 
dersell me,  and  I had  no  chance  of  getting  a penny  unless  I did 
the  same,  or  stole  ’em  ready  made,  so*I  retired  from  business 
and  corned  here.  Now  I runs  o’  arrans,  cleans  shoes,  and  does 
all  sorts  o’things.  All  the  gentlemen  in  the  place  knows  me, 
and  when  I does  anything  for  ’em  I don’t  make  a’  strawagant 
charge,  I generally  leaves  it  to  their  generosity.  Here’s  your 
change  out  o’  the  shilling  for  the  beer,  sir.  (putting  his  hand  to 
his  head.) 

Danvers.  You  may  keep  it  for  your  trouble. 

Bill.  Sir,  you  are  a real  gentleman  ; I always  thought  you 

were,  and  now  I am  sure  of  it.  Thank  ye,  sir — sarvant 

(going.)  Sir — (beckoning  Danvers  to  him.) — I axes  pardon, 
sir,  for  what  I am  going  to  say — you’ll  excuse  me,  but  I’d 
advise  you  not  to  ’sociate  with  that  painter  chap.  I thinks  he’s 
no  good,  and  shouldn’t  be  at  all  surprised  if  he  wur  one  o’  the 
swell  mob.  Be  awake.  Done  with  the  porter,  sir  ? Exit.,  l. 

Flam.  Ha,  ha,  ha  ! A very  singular  fellow,  that ; he’s  no 
fool,  at  all  events.  But  what  the  deuce  is  the  matter  with  you, 
Danvers?  You  look  as  melancholy  as  a ruined  Greek.  Have 
you  lost  a woman,  or  have  your  creditors  been  troublesome  ? 


18  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  3- 

it  must  be  one  or  other,  to  make  you  look  so  doleful.  Tell  me, 
what  is  it  annoys  you  ? perhaps  I may  be  able  to  assist  you — ^you 
know  you  may  command  me. 

Danvers.  I thank  you  for  your  kindness,  but  your  assistance 
would,  I fear,  be  of  very  little  service  to  me,  although  the  cause 
of  my  unhappiness  is  connected  with  your  family. 

Flam.  Indeed  ! You  are  not  in  love  with  my  sister,  are  you  ? 

Danvers.  No  ; but  your  uncle  is  about  to  marry  a lady 
who  was  to  be  my  wife. 

Flam.  What ! are  you  the  young  man  in  the  country  ? Are 
you  the  lover  of  Miss  Bloomfield  ? Give  me  your  hand,  my 
dear  fellow.  Don’t  be  cast  down — you  shall  have  her.  I’ll 
break  off  the  match — I’ll  prevent  my  uncle  from  making  a fool 
of  himself.  Don’t  shake  your  head ; I will  do  it.  I am  as 
much  interested  in  the  affair  as  you  are.  It  is  my  duty  to 
interfere,  and  for  once  in  my  life  I’ll  be  a dutiful  nephew.  Do 
you  think  that  fellow  who  was  here  just  now  can  be  trusted? 

Danvers.  Yes,  but — 

Flam.  Very  well;  follow  my  instructions,  and  ask  no  ques- 
tions. What’s  his  name  ? 

Danvers.  Bill. 

Flam,  {at  window.)  Here,  Bill,  you  rascal,  come  up  here ! 

Danvers.  But  what  do  you  mean  to  do  ? What — 

Flam.  Not  a word.  If  you’ll  shut  your  eyes  and  open  your 
mouth,  you’ll  see  what  we  will  send  you. 

Enter  Bill  Downey,  l. 

Bill,  my  noble  Roman,  come  here ! 

Bill.  Come,  I say,  don’t  you  call  names,  Mr.  Painter.  I 
aren’t  a Roman — I’m  a Methodist. 

Flam.  How  is  your  wife,  Bill  ? 

Bill.  Pretty  well,  I thank  you,  Mr.  Painter — how  is 
your’n  ? 

Flam.  Let  me  undeceive  you.  Bill ; I am  not  a painter,  but 
a gentleman.  I have  assumed  this  disguise  to  escape  from  the 
bailiffs,  who  wanted  me  on  suspicion  of  debt.  Now  to  prove 
my  respectability,  and  act  up  to  the  character,  there’s  a crown 
for  you. 

Bill,  {touching  Ms  head.)  Thank  you,  sir.  Well,  if  I didn’t 
think  you  was  a gentleman  all  along — now  I’m  sure  of  it.  Beg 
pardon,  sir — but  a paper  cap  and  a fustian  jacket  does  make  a 
man  look  such  a blackguard. 

Flam.  Now  I have  convinced  you  of  my  respectability,  I 
suppose  you  will  have  no  objection  to  assist  me  in  an  affair  of 
importance. 

Bill.  It  isn’t  to  take  a chick  to  a banking-house,  is  it  ? I 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


19 


Sc.  4. 


took  one  once  for  a gentleman  I met  promiscuously — ^like  I does 
you — and  it  were  a forgery.  They  wanted  to  hang  me  for  it, 
but  I got  off,  ’acause  I proved  I couldn’t  write — so  I’m  up  that 
way. 

Flam.  No,  no — ’tis  nothing  of  that  sort. 

Bill.  Oh,  very  well.  I’ll  undertake  anything  else,  and  do 
it  in  good  style,  I promise  you. 

Flam.  Do  you  think  now,  that  you  could  manage  to  pass  for 
a gentleman  ? 

Bill.  Pass  for  a gentleman  ! come,  I likes  that ! Aren’t  I 
a gentleman  ? I believe  I are — above  a bit — and  a real  one, 
too ! If  you  were  to  see  me  in  my  Sunday  toggery,  you’d  take 
me  for  a Aalderman,  or  a Hem  P. — and  I’ve  got  manners  to 
match. 

Flam.  Very  well ; now  go  home,  put  on  the  Sunday  tog- 
gery you  are  so  proud  of  and  return  here  immediately. 

Bill.  How  much  will  you  give  me  ? 

Flam.  A sovereign. 

Bill.  And  a pot  of  half-and-half? 

Flam.  Very  well. 

Bill.  I’ll  do  it.  You  won’t  know  me  again,  I shall  be  such 
a swell — an  out-and-out  gentleman — such  a one  as  you  never 
afore  seed,  (returning.)  Have  you  done  with  the  porter  ? 

Exit.^  L. 

Danvers.  Now  then,  what  do  you  mean  to  do?  let  me 
know  your  plan  ? 

Flam.  I won’t.  Wait  patiently,  and  all  will  be  well.  I will 
prevent  my  uncle  from  making  a fool  of  himself,  and  restore 
to  your  arms  the  woman  of  your  heart.  Don’t  ask  questions. 
Lend  me  a coat — trust  in  fortune,  and  rely  on  the  friendship 
of  Frisk  Flammer.  Exeunt  r. 


SCENE  YM.Same  as  Scene  1. 

Enter  Lord  Totterly,  r. 

Lord  T.  The  happy  moment  will  soon  arrive,  when,  for  the 
second  time,  I am  to  become  a bridegroom.  Egad,  the  idea 
quite  exhiraates  me ! I feel  just  as  buoyant  and  debonair  as  I 
did  five-and- thirty  years  ago,  when  I married  my  first  wife, 

: poor  dear  Lady  Totterly.  I’m  quite  a young  fellow  yet — who 
knows  what  may  happen  ? my  graceless  nephew.  Frisk,  may 
have  a dozen  little  cousins  to  keep  him  in  countenance.  But 
where  is  my  Louisa,  my  future  lady  ? I hope  the  dear  girl  is 
prepared.  I dare  say  her  little  heart  beats  with  pleasure  at  the 


20 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  41 


idea  of  becoming  Lady  Totterly.  I don’t  know  how  it  is,  bu 
she  has  never  been  herself  since  that  confounded  Hobbs,  th 
shoemaker,  pinched  her  dear  little  toes— a bungling  rascal! 

TTT  11  . « Enter  Robert,  l. 

Well,  sir?  ’ 

Robert.  Please  your  lordship,  James  Miller,  your  nephew’i 
poom,  wishes  to  speak  with  you  immediately,  on  most  particu- 
lar business  relating  to  his  master.  ^ 

wLT®  "P-n  T Robert,  x 

What  can  be  the  matter  ? Has  the  wild  dog  been  thrashint 

any  more  proctors,  or  has  he  broke  his  neck  in  a steeple  chase  r 


Enter  Jem  Miller,  l 

Well,  James,  what  ^ the  matter— how  is  your  master  ? (Jew 
shades  his  head.)  Mhy  don’t  you  speak,  sir  ?— what  do  you 
shakeyour  head  for?  uo  you 

Jem.  Oh,  my  lord— such  a concatenation,  my  lord ! 
gli^^fr^’  ^ ^ What  do  you  mean,  man  ? Speak  En- 

Jem.  So  I does,  my  lord.  The  English  of  it  is  my  lord,  my 
master  has  got  into  a row,  my  lord— he  has— he  has— 

Lord  T.  What,  sir,  has  he  done? 

Jem.  Run  off  with  a young  woman,  my  lord  ? 

Lord  T.  Is  that  all  ? 1 thought  he  had  broke  his  neck. 

old  poacher!  (^aloud,)  But  that’s 
not  the  worst,  iny  lord ; there  has  been  an  excessive  rumpus 
a^bout  It,  my  lord— and  my  master  has  been  obliged  to  bolt^  my^ 

Lord  T.  Bolt ! | 

James.  Yes — mizzle^  my  lord.  I 

Lord  T.  Mizzle ! 1 

lord^"'^’  ™y  lord-  Evaporate,  my! 

run— evaporate ! Do  you  mean  that  he  i 
has  been  obliged  to  abscond  ? ^ 

u ™y  l'®®  1^®®“  obliged  to  ahsconce,  mj 

lord,  and  has  eome  up  to  town,  your  lordship,  my  lord 
Lord  T.  Indeed  1 where  is  he  ? 

u-  hotel  at  the  corner,  my  lord.  He  was  afraid  tc 

imself,  my  lord,  until  I had  made  you  acquainted  witl 
tne  particulars  of  the  insurrection^  my  lord. 

Lord  T.  Tell  him  to  come  here  immediately. 

Jem.  Yes,  my  lord,  (^goingj) 

° ®ir— (ywiny  money.)  don’t  chattel 

to  the  servants— don  t mention  the  little  affair  to  anybody. 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


21 


, Sc.  4. 

I Jem.  Little  affair  ? Oh,  about  the  young  woman,  my  lord 
I — oh,  no,  my  lord — close  as  wax,  my  lord — mum  as  a mouse- 
trap. I won’t  split,  my  lord — honour  among  thieves,  my  lord. 

Exit  L. 

Lord  T.  So,  so.  Master  Frisk  has  got  into  another  scrape ! 

A young  rascal!  Run  off  with  a young  woman,  eh?  Qau 
ing.)  How  very  wrong!  I must  lecture  him  severely.  Ha, 
ha,  ha,  ha  ! I dare  say  he  couldn’t  help  it — ’tis  a misfortune 
that  runs  in  the  blood  of  Totterly’s.  I was  just  like  him  my- 
self, ha,  ha,  ha ! Was  like  him  ! damme.  I’m  like  him  now  ! 
{sings.)  Tol  de  rol  lol!  vive  V amour ! {dancing.)  La,  la,  la ! 

Enter  Chintz,  l.,  he  dances  up  to  her. 

Chintz.  Please  your  lordship.  Miss  Bloomfield  sent  me  to 
say — 

Lord  T.  {taking  her  hand.)  Sent  you  to  say,  my  little  dar- 
ling— tol  de  riddle  lol — what  has  she  sent  you  to  say  ? {chuck- 
ing  her  under  the  chin.) 

Chintz.  Oh,  my  lord ! She  sent  me  to  say  she  wished  to 
see  your  lordship  immediately. 

Lord  T.  Then  I’ll  go  to  her  immediately.  You  look  devilish 
: handsome  to-day.  Chintz,  {tickling  her.)  upon  my  life  you  do. 

Chintz.  Don’t  my  lord — don’t  be  rude. 

Lord  T.  Rude ! you  little  devil,  I’ve  a great  mind  to  kiss 
you — I have,  indeed  ! 

Chintz.  Oh,  fie,  my  lord  ! What  would  Miss  Bloomfield 
say? 

Lord  T.  Say  ? Why  she’d  say  I was  a great  rake — that’s 
what  she  would  say,  you  little  devil,  (kisses  her.) 

I Enter  Jem  Miller  hastily — Chintz  goes  wp— Lord  Totterly 
takes  S7iuff. — Tableau. 

Jem.  Master  will  be  here  directly — Eh!  {after  a pause.) 

\ I’m  an  undone  tiger ! he  has  got  hold  of  my  Polly ! I’m 
settled ! {goes  up.) 

Lord  T.  Very  well — very  well,  James.  I’ll  see  him  in  my  \ 
study,  {crosses  r.)  Devil  take  the  fellow  ! he  has  spoilt  a 
delightful  bit  of  flirtation.  NHmporte ! I’ll  be  more  on  my 
guard  next  time.  Exit.,  r. 

(Chintz  endeavours  to  steal  off— prevents  her.,  brings  her 
forward.,  buttons  his  coat.,  goes  up  to  her  as  if  about  to  speak., 
is  overcome  with  passion.,  and  cannot  get  out  a word ; knocks 
his  hat  over  his  eyes,  and  takes  the  stage  with  tremendous 
strides — Chintz  follows  him. 

Chintz.  Now,  Jem — now  do  stop,  and  listen  to  me. 

Jem.  Go  away,  marm— go  away  ; don’t  speak  to  me — don’t 


22 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  4 


look  at  me,  you  crocodile— you  woodpecker— you  rattlesnake- 

?P  .S?  ®°’  J®™-  I couldn’t  help  it ! 

t ^c'P  It  •'  oh,  you  false  parricide— you  deludioi 

**’  called  out.  I’y! 

— nLIf  ’ “t™'  iX°n  licensed  victualle 

of  mtlT^  Miller— never  be  the  venerable  mothe 

01  little  tigers  and  ladies  maids  ! 

Chintz.  Oh,  Jem,  don’t  say  so. 

Chintz.  ] 

won  t stand  no  nonsense  ; you’ve  cut  up  my  feelings,  scarifiec 
my  heart,  and  turned  me  topsy  turvy.  I shall  go  home  and 

m^t^yTff*^t  myself  without  pain,  and  in  tht 

mo^  Maeffectual  manner.  Good  bye ! I shall  be  in  the  newspaper 

T'lf “ ■'Occidents  and  Offences  ’’—look  out 
for  The  Hornble  Death  of  a Gentleman’s  Tiger  ' ” I shall 

The  worid^rv  myself,  so  that  all 


fliA  1 — v^xcauiui  iiiuiuer  myseii,  so  that  al 

I’llWnw^niT^  your  and  thorough  baseness, 


rwTxrrp.  XT  tnroarirom  /iear  to  Aear! 

^ 7,  *’  ^ em— ’twould  so  disfigure  you.  If  you 

must  commit  felony,  take  Persian  acid— that’s  tL  genteefisf 

crol^^/^'l  for  yourself.  But^don’t  bj 

MOSS,  dear— I don  t deserve  your  reproaches— I don’t,  indeed. 
Now  do  forgive  me — it  shan’t  occur  again.  I wouldn’t  make 
Now  do  f^^^  Jem,  for  all  the  lords  and  dukes  in  the  world 

Now  do  forgive  me,  there  s a dear  1 Won’t  you  Jem won’t 

yoni  {trying  to  coax  him.)  * you,  jem-wont 

Jem.  {roughly.)  No,  I won’t. 

with^rnTspif^?'^’  T ^ f®  ,®o”‘y— so  vexed— so  angry 

for  youf  so— Jem,  your  neckcloth  is  untied ; let  me  tie  it 


doSmatC-?ftira£e“”‘^'“''”"^ 


nz.  {turning  his  face  to  her  and  tying  his  neckcloth.)  Isn’t 
> I hemmed  for  you?  La,  I’m  sure  it  is-I  know  the 


Chintz, 
this  one 

jyj^i  L m sure  H IS — 1 know  thA 

iToTan  "’hat  pains  I took  with  it  for  your  sake.  Jem,  you’re 
not  angry  with  me  now,  are  you  ? ’ ^ 

anff  “■  ““’“2'  ***  pretending  roughness.)  Yes,  I 

Chintz.  No,  you  are  not,  Jem;  I know  you  are  not— I’m 
sure  you  forgive  me.  I can  see  your  lips  smile,  although  you 

tcar/aJd  i*  «P  "’Itl^  “«•  (bursts into 

tears  and  Jails  into  his  arms — he  kisses  her  ) 

e abouMn  f’  I T®"’  take  care  what  you 

e about  m future.  I won’t  stand  it,  ^ 


are 


5c.  4.  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  23 

Chintz.  Oh,  don’t  be  alarmed — it  shan’t  happeif.  again.  But 
say,  Jem,  what  brought  you  here?  Does  my  lori  know  your 
iaster  ? 

Jem.  I should  think  so — Lord  Totterly  is  his  uncle. 

, Chintz.  Oh,  then  I don’t  wonder  at  your  surprise  this 
iiornmg.  What  does  your  master  say  to  this  marriage  ? 

I Jem.  Oh,  he’s  in  a fine  way  about  it ! But  we’ve  got  a plan 
0 deceive  the  old  fool  and  break  it  off ; and  if  you’ll  assist  us, 
iaster  has  promised  to  set  us  up  in  business,  and  be  our  friend 
s long  as  we  live. 

Chintz.  Will  he  ? Then  I’m  sure  I’ll  do  all  I can  to  help 
im,  for  I’m  tired  of  being  single. 

Jem.  Take  me  somewhere  where  nobody  can  overhear  us, 
nd  I’ll  tell  you  our  plan  ; but  mind,  Miss  Bloomfield  is  not  to 
e let  into  the  secret,  or  she’ll  spoil  all. 

Chintz.  I won’t  say  a word.  Come  along — I’m  dying  to 
ear  the  particulars.  How  could  you  be  so  angry  with  me, 
em,  when  you  know  I love  you  so?  Shall  I be  Mrs.  Miller, 
h,  Jem  ? Exeunt^  L. 

Enter  Lord  Totterly  and  Flammer,  r. 

Lord  T.  ]^ow,  sir,  we  are  alone — sit  down  and  give  me  an 
ccount  of  this  scandalous  affair,  {they  sit.)  You  ought  to  be 
shamed  of  yourself,  sir.  How  dare  you  seduce  the  affections 
f a young  woman,  sir  ? how  dare  you  be  such  a rascal  ? How 
are  you  be  such  a profligate?  I never  set  you  such  an 
xample  ! I’ve  a great  mind  to  disinherit  you,  you  dog,  I have! 
Lre  you  not  ashamed  of  your  conduct,  sir  ? 

Flam.  I am,  indeed,  my  lord,  overwhelmed  with  shame  and 
onfusion.  I knew  you  would  be  incensed,  particularly  as  you 
ever  committed  yourself  in  such  a way. 

Lord  T.  Hem  1 you  are  right,  sir.  I am  incensed  at  your 
onduct — highly  incensed  at  it.  What  have  you  to  say  in 
our  defence  ? Explain,  sir — give  me  the  particulars  of  the 
ffair — tell  me  the  whole  of  your  villany. 

Flam.  I will,  my  lord.  The  facts  of  the  case  are  simply 
hese.  I went  some  few  months  back  with  a college  friend, 
.uring  the  vacation,  to  Tavistock — 

Lord  T.  Tavistock  in  Devonshire  ? 

Flam.  The  same,  my  lord.  There  it  was  my  misfortune  to 
3e  and  love  a beautiful  girl — she  was  a — a — 

Lord  T.  I know.  Young,  blooming,  seventeen,  chestnut 
inglets,  taper  waist.  I know,  I know  ; go  on — go  on. 

Flam.  She  was  just  the  creature  you  describe — a perfect 
lebe  I I persuaded  her  to  elope  with  me. 

Lord  T.  Shameful ! shameful  I Go  on,  sir — go  on. 


24  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  4 

Flam.  Under  pretence  of  visiting  her  aunt,  who  lives  a 
Exeter — 

Lord  T.  Artful  dog ! well  ? 

Flam,  We  lived  at  the  London  Inn  in  that  city  severa 
days. 

Lord  T.  You  young  rascal ! Well,  well— go  on.  Whai 
then  ? 

Flam.  Then,  sir,  I returned  to  Cambridge,  and  the  lady  tc 
Tavistock. 

Lord  T.  Oh,  you  repented  of  your  folly. 

Flam.  Yes,  I returned,  as  I told  you,  to  Tavistock. 

Lord  T.  Cambridge,  you  mean. 

Flam.  Yes,  I returned  to  Cambridge,  and  had  entirely 
forgot  the  affair,  until  a few  days  ago,  when  an  old  gentleman, 
in  a horrid  state  of  excitement,  with  a loaded  hunting-whip  in 
one  hand,  and  a brace  of  pistols  in  the  other,  burst  into  my 
chamber,  and  demanded  satisfaction  for  my  conduct  to  his 
neice. 

Lord  T.  The  devil ! well  ? 

Flam.  He  was  the  uncle  of  the  girl,  at  whose  house  she 
should  have  been,  when  she  was  with  me  at  the  London  Inn 
As  ill  luck  would  have  it,  he  had  occasion  to  go  to  Tavistock 
some  few  days  ago,  and  on  the  lady’s  friends  thanking  him  for 
his  kindness  to  his  neice,  when  she  was  at  his  house,  the  whole' 
business  came  out. 

Lord  T.  Unlucky!  Why  didn’t  you  manage  better?  I 
always  used  to — hem ! 

Flam.  I couldn’t  foresee  such  a thing.  The  old  gentleman 
who  is  a perfect  savage,  immediately  started  in  pursuit  of  me’ 
with  the  determination  of  blowing  out  my  brains,  althouo-h  his 
neice  had  left  Tavistock  some  time,  and  was  about  to  be  well 
married  in  London.  ^ 

Lord  T.  How  did  you  get  rid  of  him  ? 1 

Flam.  Oh,  I swore  I was  not  the  person,  and  had  never] 
been  at  Exeter  in  my  life— sent  him  to  a quiet,  reading  friend,; 
who  belonged  to  the  next  college,  and  made  my  escape  to  ' 
town.  Ere  this  the  old  fellow  must  have  found  out  the  truth  ; > 
he  will  be  spe  to  follow  me — something  must  be  done.  Will ; 
your  lordship  see  him  for  me,  and  make  some  compromise.  He 
has  sworn  to  have  my  life  if  I don’t  marry  Louisa. 

Lord  T.  Louisa ! 

Flam.  Yes,  Louip  Bloomfield — that’s  his  neice’s  name. 
Lord  T.  (astonished.')  What  I Louisa  Bloomfield,  fi:oni 
lavistock — daughter  of  old  Simon  Bloomfield  ? 

Flam.  The  same. 


Sc.  4.  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  25 

Lord  T.  Death  and  the  devil ! my  Louisa — London  Inn — 
what  an  escape ! 

Flam.  Escape,  my  lord!  I don’t  understand — 

Lord  T.  Why,  your  beautiful  Hebe — your  companion  at 
the  London  Inn,  to-morrow  would  have  been  my  wife. 

Flam.  Your  wife,  my  lord ! your  wife ! you  astonish  me. 
Louisa  Bloomfield  your  wife? — impossible  I 

Lord  T.  ’Tis  very  possible.  ’Twas  to  me  she  was  about  to 
be  married — I was  to  have  been  the  unhappy  victim.  ’Twas 
my  misfortune  to  meet  her  on  her  first  arrival  in  town  from 
Tavistock.  I was  struck  by  her  beauty  and  apparent  innocence, 
and  to-morrow  she  would  have  been  Lady  Totterly. 

Bill  Downey,  (without^  l.J  1 tell  you  he  is  here  ! I’m  sur3 
of  it ! I will  see  him,  or  I’ll  set  fire  to  the  house. 

Flam.  There  he  is — that  is  old  Bloomfield!  I knew  he 
would  find  me  out.  What  the  devil  is  to  be  done  ? he’ll  murder 
me ! Let  us  avoid  him,  and  concert  some  method  of  getting 
rid  of  him,  and  hushing  up  the  affair. 

Lord  T.  We  will.  If  I had  been  made  a victim,  how  my 
friends  would  have  enjoyed  the  joke.  Come  along.  I shall 
never  forget  the  London  Inn  ! — what  an  escape.  Exeunt  r. 

Bill,  (unthout^  l.)  But  I know  he  is  here  ! I will  see  him ! 
stand  out  of  the  way — I will  go  in. 

Bill  Downey  enters^  l.,  disguised  as  Mr.  Bloomfield,  with  a 
ichip  and  a brace  of  horse  pistols. 

Now  then,  sir,  I — What,  they’re  gone,  eh  ? (bursting  into  a 
laugh.')  I’m  getting  on  uncommon  well.  They  takes  me  for  a 
right  arnest  gentleman,  and  lets  me  do  jist  what  I likes.  Let 
me  see  if  I’ve  got  my  lesson  pat.  I’m  Mr.  Bloomfield,  from 
Hexeter — I’ve  come  to  blow  out  Mr.  Flammer’s  brains,  for 
taking  my  niece  to  the  London  Inn.  All  right.  I’ll  gammon 
’em  in  prime  style. 

Jem.  (loithout.)  Timothy,  my  dear ! Timothy,  where  are 
you  ? I won’t  be  left  in  the  hall ! I will  go  to  my  husband. 

Bill.  Ha,  ha,  ha ! that  be  my  partner  in  this  here  con  earn 
— Mr.  Flammer’s  tiger.  He’s  to  hact  my  wife.  He  looks  a 
regular  brazen  one. 

Jem.  (without.)  I will  find  him,  I’m  determined. 

Enter  Jem  Miller,  l.,  disguised  as  Mrs.  Bloomfield. 

Oh,  Timothy,  Timothy!  (embraces  him^  then  looks  round.) 

■ Where  are  the  nobs  ? have  they  bolted ! 

Bill.  Yes,  the  old  ’un  is  afeard  on  us.  I say,  Mr.  Tiger,  you 
looks  a precious  article,  at  all  events. 

Jem.  I should  think  so — no  use  doing  things  by  halves.  I’m 

UNFINISHED— c 


26  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  4. 

not  handsome,  but  I’m  a beautiful  figure — {turning  rounds  ^c.) 
— not  a bit  too  fat.  (walks  about  wWi  long  strides.) 

Bill.  Not  a bit.  But  I say,  you  fool,  don’t  take  such 
precious  long  strides,  or  you’ll  be  found  out.  Why  don’t  you 
hact  up  to  your  character  as  I does  ? Have  you  got  a honion 
for  yOiJr  heyes,  and  a handkercher  to  wipe  ’em. 

Jem.  All  right.  I’ll  bellow  like  a good  ’un. 

Bill.  Hush  ! here’s  somebody  a-coming.  Now,  then,  keep 
your  heye  hup  and  look  modest. 

Enter  Robert,  r. 

Robert.  Mr.  Flammer  and  his  uncle.  Lord  Totterly,  will 
wait  on  you  immediately. 

Bill.  Oh,  very  well ; tell  ’em  to  make  haste.  I won’t  be 
kept  here  all  day — I wants  to  get  back  to  Hexeter  ; tell  ’em 
I’m  in  a devil  of  a hurry,  will  you — and  that  I’ll  turn  the  house 
out  of  windows,  and  them  after  it,  if  they  don’t  come  directly. 

Robert.  Yes,  sir. 

Bill.  Be  off,  then.  Exit  Robert,  r. 

Ha,  ha ! I’ve  frightened  the  futman,  at  all  events — now  I’ll 
tip  it  the  master.  Come  along  with  me,  and  mind  how  you 
walks. 

(Jem  takes  Bill’s  arm,  and  walks  up  and  down.,  taking  shorty 
steps.,  and  occasionally  a long  one — Bill  takes  tremendous' 
strides.,  and  flourishes  his  ivhip. 

Enter  Lord  Totterly  and  Flammer,  r.  i 

Flam.  (r.  c.)  There  ! did  you  ever  see  such  a savage  ? • 

Lord  T.  (r.)  Never.  I wonder  they  suffer  him  to  go  loose. 
Who  is  that  fat  person  with  him  ? 

Flam.  That’s  his  wife — Louisa’s  aunt. 

Lord  T.  Her  aunt  ? Oh,  dear,  what  a connection  I was 
about  to  form.  ^ 

Bill.  So,  you’ve  corn’d  at  last,  mister,  and  have  brought^ 
your  old  fool  of  an  uncle  to  take  care  of  you,  I suppose.  Now,| 
then,  we  shall  come  to  summut. 

Lord  T.  (aside.)  Come  to  summat ! what  a monster.  .• 

Bill.  Sit  down,  Anna  Maria,  my  love,  and  let  me  talk  toJ 
these  fellers,  (giving  Jem  a chair.,  l.  c.) 

Jem.  Now,  Timothy,  my  dear,  don’t  be  violent.  Consider 
my  nerves — they  are  all  on  the  tickledollarhoo  already. 

Bill  Be  quiet,  (to  Flammer.)  Arn’t  you  ashamed  of  your- 
self— arn’t  you  ashamed  to  look  me  in  the  face,  you  black- 
looking thief? 

Jem.  Now,  don’t,  Tim.  Don’t  exasperate — don’t  make  use 
of  epitaphs — don’t  be  impersonal  and  valetudinarius. 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


27 


Sc.  4. 

Bill.  Be  quiet,  you  old  fool,  {aside  to  Flammer.)  Don’t 
mind  what  I say — I must  go  it.  {aloud.)  Arn’t  you  ashamed  to 
see  my  venerable  pliizog  f 

Lord  T.  {aside.)  Phizog!  oh,  Lord  ; 

Bill.  What  can  you  say  for  your  conduct,  you  burglarious 
young  rascal  ? 

Jem.  Now,  Timmy,  dear,  don’t — consider  the  repaired  state 
of  my  health,  and  the  risibility  of  my  nervous  connection.  Don’t 
intimiate — draw  it  mild. 

Lord  T.  {aside.)  Unearthly  monster ! that  ever  I should 
live  to  hear  a nephew  of  mine  called  a black-looking  thief,  and 
a burglarious  young  rascal,  {to  Bill.^  Harkye,  Mr. — what’s 
you  name  ? 

Bill.  Bill  Downey. 

Jem.  {kicking  Mm.)  Be  quiet,  you  fool!  {pretending  to  cry.) 
Bloomfield  is  our  name.  I am  Anna  Maria,  and  my  husband 
is  Timothy,  {sobbing.^  using  handkercMef.,  ^c.) 

LoRirr.  {crossing  to  Vtu.j..)  Then  I merely  wished  to  remark 
to  you,  Mr.  Bloomfield,  that  my  nephew  is  a gentleman,  and 
totally  unaccustomed  to  such  language  as  black-looking  thief, 
and  burglarious  young  rascal.  1 have  never  heard  the  terms 
applied  before,  nor  do  I understand  their  precise  meaning 
Mr. — {looking  at  Mm  through  eye-glass.) 

Bill.  Bloomfield — Bloomfield,  {looking  through  Ms  fingers 
in  imitation.) 

Lord  T.  (hastily  concealing  his  glass^  and  boiving  politely.) 
Bloomfield,  I beg  your  pardon. 

Bill,  {bowing  in  imitation.,  and  buttoning  Ms  coat.)  Oh,  you’re 
too  /x’rlite.  Lord — Lord — {looking  through  his  fingers.) 

Lord  T.  Totterly. 

Bill.  Potterly — Sotterly,  I’m  not  to  be  blarnied  over  by 
cut -and-dried  dictionary  speeches;  I’m  quite  as  much  of  a 
gen’elman  as  either  you  or  your  nephey.  I’ve  come  here  for 
satisfaction,  and  satisfaction  I’ll  have,  old  Wig- and- whiskers ! 
{slapping  him  violently  on  the  back — Lord  Totterly  .starts  to 
the  R.  corner — aside  to  Flammer.)  I must  do  it,  sir ; Itu  keep- 
ing up  my  character.  I’ve  just  produced  a striking  effect. 

Jem.  Oh,  Timmy,  you’ll  frighten  me  into  extatics. 

Lord  T.  {enraged.,  shaking  his  cane.)  Hark  ye,  sir — you  are 
an  impertinent  scoundrel ! 

Bill,  {shaking  his  whip  in  imitatmi.)  You’re  another. 

Jem.  Oh,  Timmy,  cut  it — don’t  be  horticultural. 

Lord  T.  Leave  my  house,  sir,  or  I’ll  order  the  servants  to 
turn  you  out- 

Bill,  {taking  a chair ^ c.)  I won’t  go ; I should  like  to  see 
them  turn  me  out ! 


25  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  Sc.  4. 

Jem.  Now  Timmy,  dear,  for  my  sake  be  crucified.  You’ll 
kill  me  if  you  proceed  to  punching  heads. 

Bill.  Be  quiet,  Anna  Maria.  Here  I’ll  sit,  and  I defy  you 
and  all  your  family  to  stir  me.  Damme,  you  shall  respect  the 
chairman,  old  Wig-and- whiskers  ! 

Lord  T.  {aside.)  Old  Wig-and-whiskers ! AVhat  a brute! 
{to  Flammer.)  Speak  to  him.  Frisk — get  rid  of  him — ask  him 
what  he  wants. 

Flam.  I will,  {aside  to  Bill.)  You  are  going  too  far,  you 
rascal  1 I shall  be  obliged  to  horsewhip  you,  if  you  don’t  take 
care. 

Bill,  {aside.)  It’s  all  sham,  you  know,  sir.  I must  keep  it 
up — no  offence — it’s  all  gammon. 

Flam,  (aside.)  Don’t  overdo  it.  {aloud.)  What  is  it  you 
want  of  me  ? 

Bill.  A sovereign  and  a pot  of  half-and-half. 

Jem.  {kicking  him.,  aside.)  Oh,  you  fool! 

Bill.  No,  1 don’t  mean  that — I mean  my  honour  must  be 
satisfied. 

Flam,  {to  Lord  Totterly.)  His  honour  must  be  satisfied. 

Lord  T.  He  wants  money.  Ask  him  how  much  will  satisfy  ^ 
his  honour. 

Flam.  Mr.  Bloomfield,  we  are  willing  to  make  your  niece  , 
every  atonement  in  our  power.  What  sum  of  money  would 
satisfy  you  ? . 

Bill,  {starting  up.,  and  roaring  with  furious  action.)  Money!  ^ 
money — do  you  offer  me  money  I Hell  and  Tommy  I Sell — .. 
honour — paltry  gold — look — grey  hair — sorrow — grave — doat- 
ing  father — miserable  uncle — behold — {bringing  down  Jem,  and  • 
wiping  his  eyes.)  her  aunt — wife — partner — affection — tears — ’ 
shame — villain — villain — villain — unprotected  woman ! i 

{he  takes  the  stage.,  overcome  with  grief  and  falls  exhausted  on  i 
Lord  Totterly,  who  has  seated  himself— he  rises.,  throws  ^ 
him  off.,  — Bill  sits  down  overcome  with  grief  ^c.  j 

Jem.  Now  I’ll  have  a go.  {following  Totterly  and  | 

Flammer  round  the  stage.)  You  monster — you  villain — you  ^ 
wretch — and  you,  you  old  rascal  1 you’ll  break  my  heart,  you  ; 
will — ho,  ho,  ho  ! I’m  going  to  faint ! j 

(lie  catches  hold  o/Lord  Totterly  and  faints  in  his  arms — 
Flammer  takes  him  away.,  and  pushes  him  into  his  chair — 
Lord  Totterly  leans  exhausted.,  on  Flammer’s  shoulder. 

Lord  T.  What  a dreadful  situation  I’m  placed  in ! How  . 
shall  I get  rid  of  the  wretches  ? 

Bill,  fo  Flammer.)  Ain’t  I doing  capital,  sir? 

wants  a (b:op  o’  porter — couldn’t  you  send  for  a pot  ? . » 


Sc.  4.  UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN.  29 

Flam.  Hush  ! Mr.  and  Mrs.  Bloomfield,  I am  sorry  to  see 
you  so  overcome — can  I offer  you  any  refreshment  ? 

Bill,  {aside.)  That’s  your  sort ! let  us  have  some  porter. 
{aloud.)  1 don’t  care  if  I do  wet  my  whistle. 

Lord  T.  Wet  his  whistle  ! the  horrid  wretch ! 

Jem.  And  I don’t  care  if  I do  the  same.  I feels  quite  lassi- 
tudinarius. 

Flam,  {calling  off.,  r.)  Eobert,  bring  some  wine. 

Bill,  {aiide.)  Wine  be  blowed ! I don’t  care  for  wine — I 
want  a drop  of  heavy. 

Flam,  {aside.)  Take  what  you  can  get. 

Enter  Egbert  iviih  wine.,  r. 

Give  the  gentleman  and  lady  some  wine.  (Egbert  -pours  it 
out.) 

Bill,  {drinks.)  Pretty  good  stuff,  this,  but  not  equal  to 
Barclay  and  Perkins.  You  may  give  me  another  glass,  young 
man. 

J EM.  I don’t  care  if  I take  another — it’s  good  for  the  roman- 
tics. Egbert  places  wine  on  the  table.,  and  exits.,  R. 

Lord  T.  These  horrid  savages  will  get  intoxicated,  and  then 
they’ll  murder  me — I’m  sure  they  will. 

Bill.  Now,  fellers,  what  have  you  got  to  say — what  have 
you  got  to  ^ey’pose  ? I understaud  that  my  niece  is  now  in  the 
house,  and  that  old  Wig-and- whiskers  there  was  going  to  marry 
her.  Now  what  I have  to  perpose  is  this  here.  You  must 
marry  her  between  you — that  is,  one  of  you  must  marry  her  ; 
settle  which  among  yourselves — only  one  of  you  must  do  it, 
that’s  all,  or  I’ll  have  a pop  at  you!  {presenting pistols.) 

Lgrd  T.  Disgusting  savage  1 I fear  we  can  do  nothing  with 
him.  We  must  send  for  a policeman,  and  have  him  taken  up. 
As  things  have  turned  out,  of  course  neither  of  us  can  think  of 
marrying  the  girl.  I’d  give  five  thousand  pounds  to  any  man 
who  would  marry  her  and  take  her  off  my  hands. 

Flam.  Would  you  really  ? Send  for  the  lady  here  directly, 
and  if  her  relations  will  give  their  consent,  I’ll  engage  to  fi.nd 
a man  who  will  be  glad  to  take  her. 

Lgrd  T.  Go  for  him.  Frisk — go  for  him  immediately.  I’ll 
go  for  Miss  Bloomfield.  Bring  him  here  immediately,  and  let 
us  get  rid  of  these  savages  and  the  girl  at  once. 

Exit  Flammer,  l. 

Bill.  Come,  I say  ! where  has  he  gone  to  ? not  bolted,  eh  ? 
I won’t  stand  it,  old  ’un ! Come  along  Anna  Maria — 

Lgrd  T.  He  will  return  immediately,  have  the  kindness  to 
wait  here  a few  minutes,  and  every  thing  shall  be  settled  to 
your  satisfaction,  {going.)  What  a dreadful  day  I’ve  gone 
through ; I’ve  been  bullied  by  a savage,  called  old  wig  and 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


30 


Sc.  4. 


whiskers  ; and  now  I’m  obliged  to  give  five  thousand  pounds  to 
escape  being  murdered ! Exit  r. 

Bill  and  Jem  watch  him^  and  hurst  out  into  loud  laughter. 

Bill.  We’ve  done  it  capital ! {taking  off  his  wig.) 

Jem.  Slap  up!  (taking  off  his  bonnet.)  What  an  old  fool! 
Ha,  ha,  ha  I didn’t  I come  the  faint  well?  {imitating.)  Ho,  ho, 
ho  ! {kicking  in  the  chair.) 

Bill.  Yes,  and  didn’t  I go  it  in  prime  style  about  the  money  ? 
(imitating.)  Villain  ! villain  ! — unprotected  woman ! Ha,  ha, 
ha ! we  are  two  good  un’s  for  a lark. 

Jem.  Out  and  out ! Come,  let’s  have  another  glass  of 
wine,  {drinks.) 

Bill.  With  all  my  heart;  only  don’t  let  us  get  drunk. 
{drinks.) 

Jem.  Certainly  not.  (Jilling.)  Here’s  success  to  the  under- 
taking ! 

Bill.  Here’s  success  to  the  undertakers. 

Jem.  Hollo!  {stopping  him.)  Success  to  the  undertaking. 

Bill.  Oh!  the  undertaking — well,  arn’t  we  the  undertakers ? 
so,  here’s  success  to  the  undertaking,  and  the  undertakers.  I 
say,  Mr.  Tiger — we’ve  finished  the  bottle  ; we  shall  be  fuddled  1 

Jem.  Hush!  here  comes  the  old  gentleman.  (^uAj'puts  on 
Jem’s  bonnet.^  and  Jem,  Bill’s  wig — they  find  out  the  mistake 
and  exchange — they  retire  up.) 

Enter  Lord  Totterly  and  Louisa,  r. 

Lord  T.  Circumstances,  Miss  Bloomfield,  have  taken  place 
within  the  last  few  hours,  that  will  prevent  me  from  having  the 
felicity  of  leading  you  to  the  altar — hem  ! you  shall  have  five 
thousand  pound  as  a wedding  portion,  and  I would  advise  you 
to  pass  your  honey- moon  at  the  London  Inn.^  at  Exeter. 

Louisa,  {astonished.)  My  lord ! 

Lord  T.  I am  about  to  transfer  the  honor  to  another,  and  I 
doubt  not,  more  worthy  person,  who  will  I am  certain,‘be  better 
able  than  myself  to  appreciate  your  beauty,  accomplishments, 
and  virtue — hem ! 

Louisa.  My  lord,  I do  not  understand  you ; what  is*  the 
meaning  of  your  strange  words  ? Do  you  seriously  wish  me  to 
understand  that  I am  not  to  be  your  wife  ? 

Lord  T.  I do — and  moreover,  as  a husband  is  perhaps  neces'- 
sary  for  your  happiness,  I have  sent  to  procure  you  one — hem ! 

Louisa.  Do  1 dream  ? 

Lord  T.  No,  you  are  awake,  and  so  am  I. 

Louisa.  What  can  all  this  mean  ? I am  amazed ! 

Lord  T.  So  am  I ; your  uncle  and  aunt  there  can  explain. 

Louisa.  My  uncle  and  aunt ! 

Bill.  Oh,  Louisey,  Louisey,  you  naughty  girl,  how  could 
you  do  so  ? 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


Sc  4 


31 


Jem.  How  could  you  behave  so  to  your  affectionate  aunt  ? 

Louisa.  Stand  off ! This  is  some  vile  plot  to  ruin  me ; I 
know  them  not — they  are  no  relations  of  mine. 

Lord  T.  (aside.)  Unheard  of  depravity ! she  won't  know 
her  own  uncle  and  aunt ! what  an  escape  I have  had ! 

Flammer,  l. — Bill  aiid  Jem  go  np  stage. 

Well,  Frisk,  where  is  he?  Where  is  the  volunteer  husband? 
Bring  him  in ; let  us  settle  this  business  at  once. 

Flam.  Come  in,  Charles. 

Enter  Danvers,  l. 

Louisa.  Charles ! (running  into  his  arms.) — my  own  dear 
Charles ! 

Lord  T.  Curse  me  if  it  isn’t  Hobbs  the  shoemaker  ! where 
did  you  pick  him  up? 

Flam.  Not  far  off— he  has  long  been  a lover  of  Miss  Bloom- 
field, so  I thought  him  the  best  person  to  choose  for  her  hus- 
band. 

Lord.  T.  A lover ! — oh,  ho ! then  I’ll  be  hanged  if  he  was 
trying  on  shoes  when  I caught  him  on  his  knees  to  her. 
(aside.)  What  an  escape  I have  had ! Mr.  Hobbs — London 
Inn — dreadful!  (aloud.)  Take  her,  Mr.  Hobbs — make  her  a 
good  husband ; but  let  me  give  you  a caution  never  to  set  up  in 
business  at  Exeter,  and  don’t  go  near  the  London  Inn  there,  or 
you’ll  hear  something  unpleasant — ha,  ha,  ha  1 (chuckling.,  and 
hitting  Flammer  with  his  cane.)  wouldn’t  he.  Frisk  ? 

Danvers.  London  Inn — Exeter — Mr.  Hobbs — something 
unpleasant ! What  do  you  mean,  my  lord  ? I don’t  under- 
stand— 

Flam.  But  I do,  and  will  explain  all. 

Lord  T.  (aside.)  Hold  your  tongue,  you  fool ! 

Flam.  The  fact  is,  Charles,  this  is  the  denouement  of  my 
scheme.  Pardon  me,  my  lord,  the  annoyance  I have  caused 
you — with  shame  I confess  this  is  the  first  time  I have  ever 
seen  Miss  Bloomfield. 

Lord  T.  What ! did  you  not  take  her  to  the  London  Inn? 

Flam.  No,  my  lord,  I never  was  at  Exeter  in  my  life.  The 
whole  of  that  little  affair  was  a romance,  to  prevent  your  lord- 
ship  from  marrying  a lady,  to  whom  my  friend,  Mr.  Charles 
Danvers,  is  so  devotedly  attached. 

Lord  T.  What  I have  I been  imposed  upon  ? 

Flam.  You  have,  my  lord.  I could  think  of  no  other  method 
of  preventing  you  from  favouring  me  with  an  aunt,  and  render- 
ing my  friend  miserable. 

Lord  T.  You  undutiful  young  scoundrel!  I’ll  disinherit 
you,  and  marry  ^liss  Bloomfield,  on  purpose  to  vex  you  ; and 


32 


UNFINISHED  GENTLEMAN. 


Sc.  4. 

as  for  your  agents,  there — (Bill  Jem  try  to  escape^  l.)  Don’t 

let  them  go ! Come  here,  you  horrible  savages ! You  villainous 
old  rascal,  who  called  me  “ wig  and  whiskers,”  I’ll  have  you 
and  that  wretch  of  a woman  transported,  for  daring  to  impose 
upon  me ! Who,  and  what  are  you  ? 

Bill.  I’m  a gentleman — there  is  my  card,  {p^dlmg  out  a piece 
of  hoards  painted  blacky  with  white  letters  on  it.)  Bill  Downey, 
Porter,  &c.,  cleans  shoes,  brushes  clothes,  runs  of  errands,  and 
does  anything,  on  reasonable  terms.  N.B. — For  ready  money 
only — no  trust. 

Lord  T.  And  you  have  dared  to  impose  yourself  on  me  for 
a gentleman?  But  I suppose  my  nephew  has  paid  you  hand- 
somely for  it. 

Bill.  Pretty  well.  I’m  to  have  a sovereign  and  a pot  of 
half-and  half.  If  you  are  satisfied  with  my  performance,  you 
may  give  me  a trifle  more. 

Lord  T.  And  pray,  who  are  you,  you  horrible  old  woman  ? j 

Jem.  {taking  off  his  cap  and  wig.)  I’m  James  Miller,  my  lord,  * 
Mr.  Flammer’s  tiger,  my  lord — I did  it  to  get  a wife,  my  lord — ' 
beg  pardon,  I only  followed  master’s  orders,  my  lord.  j 

Lord  T.  So,  I’ve  been  bullied  and  insulted  by  a shoe  black  • 
and  a tiger,  for  a sovereign  and  a pot  of  half-and-half!  Well,  ^ 
I suppose  I must  make  the  best  of  it — I ought  not  to  have  ) 
thought  of  matrimony  at  my  age.  Frisk,  I forgive  you  and 
your  tiger.  Miss  Bloomfield,  marry  Mr.  Hobbs — Mr.  Danvers,  t 
I mean.  The  five  thousand  pounds  I will  present  to  you  as  a ? 
marriage  gift.  Mr.  Danvers,  I won’t  hear  a word — relieve  your  ^ 
father’s  embarrassments,  and  be  happy  with  the  man  of  your  ■ 
heart.  And  now  for  you,  you  horrible  savage  ! what  shall  I do  • 
with  you  ? , 

Bill.  Forgive  everything  I’ve  said  and  done,  as  ’twas  all  in  » 
the  way  of  business ; and  if  you  should  at  any  time  want  any- 
thing  in  the  shoe  cleaning,  clothes  brushing,  or  gentleman  lines,  ( 
I hopes  you’ll  give  me  your  custom.  I always  does  my  best  to  j 
give  satisfaction — and  if  your  lordship,  and  the  Ladies  and  ) 
Gentleman  I see  around  will  condescend  to  be  pleased  with  my  ^ 
exertions  on  the  present  occasion,  the  “ Unfinished  Gentleman  ” ^ 
will  be  happy  to  larn  his  lessons^  and  hact  up  to  his  character,  ^ 
whenever  you  may  please  to  honour  him  with  your  approbation 
and  support. 

Lord  T.  Flammer.  Jem.  Bill.  Louisa.  Charles 

K.  L. 

CURTAIN. 


Printed  by  Thomas  Scott,  1,  Warwick  Court,  Holborn. 


Lacy’s 


► LUMK  1. 

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)fiUME  4. 
‘SferdoCoverley 
es’  Battle 
i-t.nents” 
ip  Eieursiaa 
aan’^  Love 
Tied  Bachelor 
Eater 

thiii^  for  Change 
nhaw.Ba^shaw, 
i Bravlshaw 
Lh-ache 

y Godiva  [Debts 
’ Way  to  Pay  Old 
y Queen  of  Scots 
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)cat-er  of  Rouen 
DLUME  5. 
line 

as  a Cuenraber 
elcss  Passion 
leof  Speculation 
mping-  Legacy 
tis  and  Peleus 
rdian  Aog'el 
* Bannycastles 
ttW  Attraction 
eaten  ray  Friend 
dcT  Precautions 
riequin  Uos^arth 


Acting  Edition  of  Plays,  6d.  eacii, 

r;r  i/i  volu<j  &i.  ntathj  boaihd  V-s'  . tdi^h,  post  free. 


Td  Bore  in-.t  Cox 
74  Willow-Pattern  Piate 
7b  Orj^anic  Atlection 
VOLUME  6. 

73  D-.ici  in  the  Dark 

77  Kiss  in  tlie  Dark 

78  Cherry  and  Fair  Star 
7^  Corsican  Brothers 

80  O'tr  Clerks  [tuses 

81  Matri  nui  al Pros pee- 
84  Ei  Mydcr  [Hertulcs 
Si  Twelve  Lnbours  ol 
84W:1»  Stole  the  Pocket 
8 ) \Vitti»iud  i Book  ! 
S',  Soaukiiu  Legacy 

87  Kiu;^  if  the  Alps 

88  Gane.n 

80  Vakiu:?  by  Storm 
J)  \ cry  Su«i)icious 
VOLUME  7. 

91  Left  the  Staj^o 
JJ  Rose  of  Ettrick  Vale 
08  Un warraniable  I»- 
91  BinksBa,^:n  iii[tr  usin 
95  Miller  of  Wkets  tone 
05  “ M itrimoni  1,”  &c. 
97  Book  the  Tiiird 
v8  Sink  or  Swim 
99  Writing  on  the  Wall 
109  loan  Dobbs 
lOI  Son  of  Wilderness 
103  D-uukard  [inond 
198  Diamond  cut  Dia- 

194  Gale  Breezelv 

195  Master  Passion 

VOLUME  8. 

193  PrimaDonna  liners 

1 07  Wanted,  1009  M 1- 

108  Madieth  Travestie 

109  Critic 

III)  Sl  isherand  Crasher 

111  >fot  a Bad  Judge 

112  Woman  1 Adore 

113  Box  & Cox  Married 

114  Mysterious  Lady 

115  My  Precious  Betsy 
115  Capital  Match 

117  House  Out  of  5Vin- 

118  Betsy  Baker  [dows 

119  Gofcibed  Tom 
129  Jenkinses 

VOLUME  9. 

121  Phenomenon  in  a 
Smock  Frock 
1 22Harl?q  uin  H udibras 

123  — Ch^iry 

124  Loan  of  a Lover 
l25Good  W oinninM^  ood 
128  Leo  the  Terrible 

127  Bold  Dragoons 

128  'Twas  I 

129  Where  ther  e’s  aWill 

130  Gilderoy 

131  Yr  Life’s  in  Danger 

132  Macbeth 

133  Violet 

134  Louis  XI.  [TS 

135  To  Paris  8c  Back  for 

VOLUME  10. 

136  Obstinate  Family 

137  Civilisation,  Is. 

1.38  Marco  3 pad  a 

139  Strange  History 

140  llaffaelle Reprobate 

141  Buckstnne’s  Ascent 

142  Stage  Struck 

143  KlopementsiuHigh 
Life,  Is. 


144  l)i\s];cr.ito  Came 

145  Uncle  CroLchet  i 

143  Ladici;  at  laoirie 

147  r amlet  Travestie 
14a  A.  S.  S. 

140  Fust 'Train  I Fail 

150  Maid  willi  Milking 

VOLUME  il. 

151  Viwing  it  on 

152  Miller  and  liis  Men 

153  Mob  C ap 
54  Law  yers 

1 Y)  Sal  dfinapalus 
i.>6  Ray  pii!g>  andXable 
Moving  s 

157  H andsoniell  usbi^nd 
|.5l^  Times 

159  Sbyb  ck  [ ti  c Tiger 
ISO  P.  P.,  or  the  Man  it 
lol  Going-  t(-  CboUn  ii' 

162  Acis  and  Galatea 

1 63  M y F'rsi  Fit  of  Gon  t 

164  I <a-ko<l irvvitl  I adv 

165  Soii  i l edv  Else 

VOimlE  12. 

166  ror.C  irsaT  d(  Bazar 
'67  ( liostnfield’i  In  ski; 

] 68  Foni'tain  of  Be  aiUv 
16)  Flotel  ( barg(  s 

1 ;0  Can  p at  tlu*  Olyu-- 
l71  f'micus  Case  [pic 
1'  3 Midas 

^7..>  Idttle  Toddlekins 
1 *'4  Egyptian  [vvii  b 

175  M'bitf  baitat  Crern- 

176  Pr*  ttyPieccl  nsinss 

1 77  Bad  dor  of  Ai  ts 

178  ITicle  Tom’s  Cabin 

179  Miller  of  Dt  i-w  ent 
189  Pet  of  the  Public 

VOLUME  13. 

181  To  Parents  & Guar- 
dians [Happy 

182  How  to  make  Home 

183  Hope  of  the  Family 

184  ('lire  for  Love 

185  Nice  Firm 

184  Once  Upon  a Time 

187  Lancers 

188  Vii  St  Night 

189  Ladies’  Club 

190  Perfection 

191  Plot  and  Passion 

192  Ranelagh 

193  Richard  the  Third 
p>4  Invasion  of  Russia 

195  Sea  of  Tee  (The) 

VOLUME  14. 

196  Away  with  Melan- 
choly [Dinah 

197  Willikind  and  hys 

1 98  Good  Run  for  it 

199  No.  1,  Round  Corner 

200  Storm  in  a Tea-cup 

201  Jacobite  (The) 

202  M arriedU  n-married 
2071  Broken  Toys  [olles 

204  Louise  de  Ligner- 

205  Moustache  Move- 
ment [Conjuror 

205  ’Twould  Puzzle  a 

207  Deaf  as  a Post 

208  T * Oblige  Benson 

209  Follies  of  a Night 

210  Familv  Jars 

VOLUME  15. 

211  Mr.  Buckstone’s 
Voyage 


2i2  I Ol  d J atoman’s 
Jf.Uil  cv 

2i;>  h ; Marguerit 
214  Mai  bit  litail,  is. 
Plights  ol  the 
PU  ri  d Table,  is. 
2iC  Et  I t Day  (The) 

217  V il)j.ge  to  Conit 
21&  hur.s-l.ine  thiovgh 
(hv.ds  [nilu 

2 1 9 Wait  ir  g for  c r idiii 

220  ( curb  1 ol  J yens 

221  Feeds  < r 3 nils 

222  Pan)  Pry',  Is. 

•j23  < Id  C b.'  lean 
224  F i-sti.  < I V 

22V5  A s 1 ike  as  IVvrPeai 
VOLl  ME  16. 

226  1 i^h  cut  Cl  V ater 

227  Moving  'Jaie 
22b  Peu  1 l it 

22t'  I orrlv  M arcfOccan 
2i:(/  1 idpc  ai  d ( or?tan^ 

23 1 M V h ri f i.d  t h e M r jot 

232  Pt<  r.  I'ov 

233  Plirhli  d Fairg 

234  I ivir.g  too  1 rst 

235  S<  phia's  Su;.]  i r 
2o6  Field  c f 41’  i^oot- 
237  Avalanclie  [steps 
27' h ('hjt  ft  O!  Ir1ei(\*.t  ' 
235  Porn  lidt  'I'ravd- 

240  Foi  C'n  oon  [Icrs 

void  Mi;  17. 

241  Palanci  of  ( omfort 

242  Court  of  Ol  cron 
24.'  H rrleqn.  I'hu  Beard 

244  Sailor  of  Frame 

245  Yeilovi  Dwarf 

246  Bottle  t'The) 

247  Eailw  ay  Bi  He 

248  Alx  n Hassan 

249  .Aggravating  Sam 
25(  Rough  Diamond 

251  Good  for  Nothing^ 

252  Tit  for  T’at 

2.53  Good  l ittle  Wife 
254  Cnpo>-itcN(  ighbura 
255Thric  Musketeers, 
VOLUME  18.  Is. 

256  V<  I nderful  Woman 

257  My  Wifc’.s  Diary 

258  My  Neigl-bour’g 

259  Secret  Agent  [Wif« 
26(  Game  of  Romps 
261Takfr  that  Girl  away 
26  .CinfIorelUi(  Opera,!  s } 

263  Fismernlda  ( Dranei ) 

264  Muleteer  of  Toledo 
266  Romeo  and  .Suli/t 

266  C lock  maker’s  H^t 

267  Miserof  Shoreditch 

268  Delicate  Ground 

269  Guy  Mannering  ,, 

270  Captain  of  Watr*- 

VOLUAtE  19. 

271  Golden  Branch 

272  Beautv  and  Beast 
^3  Blue  fceard  [Locks 
2''4  FairOnewithth'ldeu 

275  Cymon  and  Ijitii- 

276  Fortunio  Cgenui 

277  Invi.-^ible  Pdnee 

278  Island  of  Jewels 

279  King  Charming 

280  Ring  of  Peacocks 
28]  Prince  Hiq)])yLand 
282  Theseus  & AiiMlnq, 


SIXPENCE  EACH — Post  free,  and  of  all  Booksellers, 


Sleeping-  Beauty 
Queen  of  the  Frog’s 
Bee  & O ranee  Tree 
VOLUMB  20. 
Married  Daughters 
Birds  Aristophanes 
Drama  at  Home 
Golden  Fleece 
Graciosa&  Percinet 
Hold  your  Tongue 
T wo  in  the  Morning 
My  Great  Aunt 
My  Heart’s  Idol 
Grist  to  the  Mill 
Irish  Post 
Pride  of  the  Market 
Queen  Mary’s  Bower 
Cabinet  Question 
Lost  Ship 
VOLUME  21. 
Court  Beauties 
Alcestis  Trareetie 
Romantie  Idea 
Beggar’s  Opera 
' Only  a Clod 
Seven  Champions 
Cramond  Brig 
Mistress  of  the  Mill 
' First  of  May 
I Day  of  Reckoning 
LoveinHumbleLife 
Dream  of  Future 
^ Chain  of  Events 
Lady  in  Difficulties 
* Promotion 
VOLUME  22. 

I Morning  Call  [Mtg. 
Hay  market  Spring 
1 Too  Much  of  a Good 
Thing  [Deep 
» Still  "Waters  Run 
I Henry  the  Eighth 
. Garrick  Fever 
! Buckstone’s  Adven- 
ture with  a Polish 
{ Dowager  [Princess 
i Young  Widow 
i Helping  Hands 
J Stranger  [Getting 
r How  Stout  You’re 
1 She  Would  and 
She  Would  Not 
) Only  a Halfpenny 
1 Mountain  Sylph 
VOLUME  23. 

L Black  Doctor 
I Jack  Sheppard 
i Dumb  Belie 
I Hamlet 

> Sergeant’s  Wife 

> My"Wift‘*s  Mother 
7 Who  6j>eaks  First 
i Black  Eyed  Susan 
J Fou,r  Sisters 

3 Man  Many  Friend* 
I PetticoatGovrnmnt 
I Wandering  Minstrl 
5 Noemie 
I Waterman 
J Little  Treasuro^ 

^ VOLUME.  24 
3 Don’t  J udge  by  aj>- 
r Slow  Man  [pearance 
i Heir  at  Law 
i Evadne 

3 Spring  and  Autumn 
I 20  Minutes  with  a 
Tiger 


352  White  Cat 

353  CatchingaMcrmaid 

354  Give  a Dog  a Bad 

355  Cozy  Couple  [Name 

356  Queen  of  Spades 

357  Discreet  Princess 

358  £5  Reward 

359  Twice  Killed  [fairs 

360  Urgent  Private  Af- 

VOLUME  25. 

361  Mephistopheles 

352  Old  House  at  Home 

353  lealous  Wife 

364  Merchant  of  Venice 

365  John  Jones 

366  Great  Gun  Trick 
387  Child  of  Regiment 

368  ChevalierSt. George 

369  Comedy  & Tragedy 

370  She  Stoops  toConqr. 
.371  Return  of  Wanderer 

372  Wonder 

373  Prince  for  an  Hour 

374  Peter  Wilkins 

375  As  You  Like  It 

VOLUME  26 

376  Victor  Vanquished 

377  Lucky  Horse  Shoe 

378  Jersey  Girl 

379  Done  on  Both  Sides 

380  l5Years  Labour  Lost 

381  Dumb  Man  Manch- 

382  Evil  Genius  [ester 

383  Crown  Prince 

384  Giralda  [ofWoman 

385  Rights  and  Wrongs 

386  Toodles 

387  In  for  a Holiday 

388  Romance  undr  Diffs 

389  PaddyCarey[Faries 

390  O’i'Tannigan  & the 

VOLUME  27. 

391  Retribution 

392  Conjugal  Lesson 

393  Medea  [vidual 

394  Fascinating  Indi- 

395  School  for  Scandal 

396  Two  Heads  Better 

397  IrishDoctor[thari  1 

398  Match  Making 

399  Locked  Out 

400  Prisoner  of  War 

401  Pizarro  [One 

402  More  Blunders  than 

403  Tufelhausen 

404  Lady  of  the  Camel- 

405  Othello  [Has 

VOLUME  28. 

406  Perdita  [Dream 
407MidsummerNight8 

408  Man  with  IrouMsk 

409  Second  Love 

410  Busy  Body  [Times 

411  I’ll  Write  to  the 

412  Doing  the  Hansom 

413  Bride  of  Lamer- 

414  WhiteFarm  [moor 

415  Ben  theBoatswain 

416  Sent  to  the  Tower 

417  Our  Wife 

418  Bamboozling 

410  Monsieur  Jacques 

420  Lucille 
VOLUME  29. 

421  Young  &Handgom 

422  HarlequinAladdin 

423  Conrad  & Medora 
4:^  Family  Failing 
425  Crinoline 


426  Captain’s  not  aMiss 

427  Housekeeper 
428NightatN  otti  ngHill 

429  Bird  in  the  Hand 

430  J ew’s  Daughter 

431  Ruth  Oakley 
432DumbMaidof  Genoa 

433  Fraud  & its  Victims 

434  Angel  or  Devil 

435  Gwy line th  Vaughan 

VOLUME  30. 

435  Life’s  Trial  [head 
437  Friend  fromLeathcr 
4^^8  Queen  of  Arragon 
439Splendid  Investmnt. 

440  Lend  me  5s. 

441  Cc*stle  Spectre 

442  King  O’Toole’s 
Goose  [Nancy  Bell 

443  Lord  Lovell  and 

444  Don’t  Lend  yr.  Um- 

445  Wicked  Wife  [brila 

446  Quiet  Family  (A) 

447  Charles  11. 

448  Atalanta  [tion 

449  Momentous  Ques- 

450  Robert  JMacaire 
VOLUME  31. 

451  DoubleFacedPeopl® 

452  Fearful  Tragedy  in 

453  Douglas  [the7  Dials 

454  Governor’s  Wife 
4.55KingLear[hisCastle 
455Englidiman’sHouse 
457  Bear  TTunters 

4.58  Jack  Robinson 

459  RoiierttheDcvilOp 

460  Lugarto  the  Mulato 

461  My  Son  Diana 
462Husbandforan  H our 

463  Sarah’s  Young  Man 

464  Lillian  Gervaise 

465  Sarah  the  Creole 

VOLUME  32. 

466  Marie  Ducango 

467  Jenny  Foster 
4(>8  WTlful  Murder 

469  Omnibus  (The) 

470  Rakes  Progress 

471  Loves  Telegraph. 

472  Norma  (Opera) 

473  Venice  Preserved 

474  Masanicllo  Burlosq 

475  Victims 

476  Jeannette’s  Wedng 

477  WilliamTellTravst 

478  Frederick  of  Pruw. 

479  Marble  Bride 

480  Was  I to  Blame  I 
VOLUME  33. 

481  St  Mary’s  Eve 

482  Friend  Waggica 

483  Michael  Erie 

484  Mai'tha  Willis  , 

485  Nothing  to  Nurse 

486  Leading  Strings 

487  Sudden  Thoughts 

488  Rivals 

489  Drapery  Question 

490  Serious  Affair  (A) 

491  Two  Gay  Deceivers 

492  Jewess 

493  Lady  of  the  Lake 

494  Oliver  Twist. 

495  Pair  of  Pigeons 
VOLUME  34. 

496  Ellen  W.arehaca 
427  Brother  Ben 


498  Take  Care  of  Dc 

499  What  will  they 
Brompton 

500  London  Assuran 
.501  I.alla  Rookh 
.502  Unfinished  Gent 
503  Boots  at  the  Sw; 
.504  Harlequin  Nove 
.505  Dead  Shot 

.506  Irish  Tiger 
.507  Day  Well  Spent 

508  Cure  for  Heart . 

509  Wandering  Boyi 

510  Ladvof  Lyons  T; 

VOLUME  35 

511  Love  Knot 

.519  MuchadoaboutJ 

513  Ticklish  Times 

514  Lucky  Hit  (A) 
51,5  Faint  Heart  nev 

516  Double  Dummy 

517  Spectre  Bridegr 
f i8  Birth  Place  of  1 
5 9 Crossing  the  Li 

520  Children  of  the 

521  Nothing  ventni 

522  I^ra  Diavolo  Bn 

523  ^largaret  Catc)» 
.524  My  Wife’s  Dent 

525  Schoolfellows 

VOLUME  3< 

526  Marriage  a Lott 
.527  Your  Likeness, 
528  Pluto  and  Pros<| 
599  Samuel  in  Scare 

530  Twelfth  Night  [ 

531  Doubtful  Victo,; 
539  St^ck  Exchang 

533  Brideof  Abydos’ 

534  Gipsy  Farm^^r 

535  Veteran  of  102  (< 
.536  Dying  for  Love 

537  Pierette 

538  Irish  Tutor  ' 

539  Woodman’s  Hit 

540  KingReue’sDa; 

VOLU.ME  3 

541  Going  to  the  B; 

542  Elixerof  Love  ( 
54.3  Matrimony 
.544  Going  to  the  D- 

545  Last  of  the  Pig; 

546  Nell  Gwvnne 

i 547  Henry  lV„  P-xr 
! ,548  Catherine  II oW- 
,549  Sheep  in  Wolf’> 
550  Tempest  1 

5.51  Bonnie  Fishwlt 

5.52  Maid&Magpie? 

5.53  A Twice  Told  ; 
554  Mr  Aunt’s  Hui; 
655  Wooing  in  Jest* 

VOLUME 
5.56  Tide  of  Time 
557  Little  Siavag® 
658  Jessie  Brown 
5.59  ifarold  Hank 

560  Othello  Travest 

561  King  John 

562  Old  Honesty 
663  33  next  Birthda 

564  Porter’s  Knot 

565  Aunt  Charlotte* 

566  Kenilworth  But 

567  Woman  of  Wor 

568  Milliner’s  Holid 
669  Rule  of  Three 
570  Poor  PiiUcoddy 


XPENCE  EACH,  Post  Free,  and  of  all  Bookseller 


OLUME  S9. 

3’s  Revenge 
Q Chest 

btaiii  Charlotte 


mg  Mother 

fVOI 


■vous  Man 
hry  the  Fifth 
)r  Gentleman 
inight  Watch 
anns 

tld  of  the  Wi'eck 
(Van  Winkle  Opera 
aching  an  Heiress 
ndyke  Brown 
16  Shore 

ietra 

VOLUME  40. 
eryhody’s  Friend 
;h.i>  d ye  Thirde 
nting  a Turtle 
lich  of  the  Two 
ig  and  1 
2am  Spectre 
on  Parle  Francais 
rniug  the  Tables 
7en  Clerks 
e written  to  Brown 
ius  Cs5sar 
ree  Cuckoos 
litef  liars 
le  Volunteers 
ae  poiutsof  theLaw 
^■OLUMe  4L 
ympic  Revels 
anpic  Devils 
ep  Deep  Sea 
ught  by  the  Ears 
tained  for  Defence 
the  Cap  fits— 
w’s  y«ur  Uncle 
ree  ^d  Men 
m Cringle 
biool  for  Coquettes 
thven 

bes  in  the  Wood 
alter  Witches 
yable  on  Demand 
i Offender  (An) 
VOLUME  42. 
[treraes,  Is. 
ad  to  Ruin 
)use  or  the  Home 
tjul  Dodge 
ev.  Maison  Rouge 
hn  Bull 

ivc  and  Fortune 
fle  & how  to  use  it 
(ve  and  Hunger 
ggy  (4recn  [nature 
o much  for  Good- 
pginuB  Burlesque 
rk  Turpin 
igic  Toys 

ilvei  the  Unknown 
VOLUME  43. 
fol’s  Revenge,  Is. 
isband  to  Order 
>meo  & Juliet  Brlq. 
>gof  Montargis 
mdevous 
llage  La^er 
irsey  Chickweed 
7il  fcye 

(ameful  BehaTiour 
50d  for  Evil 
nymond  and  Agnes 
3ll, Strike  of  Cantons 
riiiph  of  lAirleyberg 


644  A Ifred  the  Great 

645  Jack  the  Giant-Killer 

VOLUME  44. 

646  Alice  Gray 

647  King  Thrushbeard 

648  Household  Fairy 

649  Cricket  on  tbe  Hearth 

650  Head  of  the  Family 

651  Ruth  the  Lass  that 

Loves  a Sailor 

652  Beau  Bnmimell 

653  Farmer’s  Story  [Eggs 

654  Goose  with  Golden 

655  Dido 

656  Holly  Bush  Hall 

657  Sisterly  Service 

658  Forest  Keeper 

(559  My  Wife’s  2ad  Floor 

660  Paphian  Bower 

VOLUME  45. 

661  Tale  of  Two  Cities 

662  Founded  on  Facts 

663  Two  Polts 

664  Pork  Chops 

665  Thrice  Married 

666  Duel  in  the  Snow 

667  Uncle  Zachary 

668  “ B.  B.” 

669  Change  ef  System 

670  Miller  & Men  Burlsq. 

671  Pilgrim  of  Lo\e 

672  Lucrezia Borgia  Brlq. 

673  Outlaw  of  Adriatic 

674  My  Wife’s  Out 

675  Inundadon,  The 

VOLUME  46. 

676  Wizard  of  the  Wave 

677  Douglas  Travestie 

678  Warlock  of  the  Glen 

679  Next  of  Kin 

680  Race  for  a Widow 

681  Asmodeus 

682  Friend  in  Need 

683  Cruel  to  be  Kind 

684  Brother  and  Sister 

685  ChritmasBoxes[diere 

686  Marianne  the  Vi  van- 

687  IdiotWit.iess[smythe 

688  Fitzsmythe  of  Fitz- 

689  Dearest  Mamma 

690  Maaeppa  Burlesque 

VOLUME  47. 

691  Marguerite’s  Colours 

692  Appearances 

693  Eily  o’Connor 

694  Bowl'd  om 

695  Model  Husband  (A) 

696  Du(‘hoss  or  Nothing 

697  Rifle  Volun  eer  Ition 

698  Observation  & Flirta- 

699  Paul  Pry  (Jerrold) 

700  Family  Secret 

701  Railroad  Station 

702  Pet  Lcmib 

703  Pair  Hacthange 

704  Hit  him  he  has  no 

705  Bluejackets  [friends 

VOLUME  48.  [Is. 

706  Patriciana  Daughur, 

707  Hard  Struggle 

708  117,  Aruudcl  Street 

709  Teacher  Taught 

710  Post  of  Honour 

711  My  Fellow  Clerk 

712  Middy  Ashore 

713  Gitanida 

714  Regular  Fix  (A) 

715  Secret 


716  Pets  of  the  Parterre 

717  Man  who  follows  the 

718  Robin  Hood  [Ladies 

719  Garibaldi  Excursion- 

720  Post  Boy  [ists 

VOLUME  49. 

721  Anne  Blake,  Is. 

722  Home  for  a Holiday 

723  Ruy  Bias 

724  John  Wopps 

725  Paris  and  Pleasure 

726  Ugly  Customer  (An) 

727  RobinsonCrusocBsq. 

728  Cinderella  Burlesque 
720  BlueBeardBurlesque 

730  Dolly 

731  Old  Joe  & Young  Joe 

732  Endymion 

733  Timor  the  Tartar  Bq. 

734  Chrystabelle 

735  Spanish  Dancers 

VOLUME  60. 

736  Pabes  in  Wood,  Is. 

737  Up  at  Hills  [Comedy 

738  Dommique  Deserter 

739  Did  I Dream  it  'i 

740  Legacy  of  Honour 

741  Old  Trusty 

742  Chimney  Corner 

743  Cantab 

744  House  on  the  Bridge 

745  Tom  Thumb  [Cruik- 

746  Little  Rebel  [shank 

747  His  Excellency 

748  Census  [Letter 

749  Adventures  of  a Love 

750  Aladdin  Burlesque 

VOLUME  61. 

751  Black  Sheep 

752  Pirates  of  Savannah 

753  MacCanhy  More 

754  Turkish  Bath 

755  Pacha  of  Pimlico 

756  Scrap  of  Paper 

757  Jocrisse  the  Juggler 

758  Old  5tory 

759  Speed  the  Plough 
7t  0 Telemachus 

761  Angel  of  Midnight 

762  On  ^nd  Off  [Gold 

763  More  Precious  than 

764  Peace  and  Quiet 

765  Pretty  Horsobreaker 

VOLUME  52. 

766  My  Lord  & Lady,  Is, 

767  Isle  of  St.  Tropez 

768  Fi'  Bt  Affections 

769  Comical  Countess 

770  Mary  Price 

771  Syren  of  Paris 

772  Lucky  Escape  (A) 

773  Wren  Roys 

774  Temptation 

775  That  Affair  at  Finch- 

776  Short  and  Sweet 

777  Illustrious  Stran^^r 

778  Wooing  One’s  Wife 

779  EsmeraldaBurlesqiie 

780  Brother  Bill  and  Me 

TOLUMB  53. 

781  Miss  Eily  O’Connor 

782  Terrible  Seeret 

783  Medea  (Tvagedy) 

784  Le>ral  Impediment 

785  Court  Curds 

786  Mummy 

787  Poor  Nobleman 
783  State  Secrete 


789  Deerfoot 

790  King  of  the  Mel 

791  Red  Riding  He 

792  Perseus  & And 

793  Slowtop’a  Enga 

794  John  Smith 

795  Hour  in  Seville 

VOLUME  54 

796  ViJlikins  and  D 

797  Eclipsing  the  S 

798  Margery  Daw 

799  Old  Phil’s  Birtl 

800  Mother  Goose 

801  Fairy’s  Father 

802  Oranga  BIossoe 

803  Intrigue 

804  Liftt’s  Ransom 

805  Friends  or  Foef 

806  Wife’s  Portrait 

807  Caught  in  a Lin 
898  Nice  Quiet  Day  i 

809  Catch  a Weasel 

810  Idiot  of  the  Moi 

VOLUME  55. 

811  World  of  Fashi( 

812  Doing  for  the  B 

813  Fair  Rosamond 

814  JevcBof  of  St.  J 

815  Prince  Amabel 
8 <6  I couldtt’t  help  I 

817  Shilling  Day  (A) 

818  Mrs.  White 

819  Collaen  Bawn 

820  N 04’ma  Travesti 

821  Keep  your  Tern] 

822  Harvest  Stcr^n 

823  Marriage  at  any 

824  Jonathan  BradB 

825  Shai-p  Practice 

VOLUME  56. 

826  Strathmore,  Is. 

827  A asK‘l  the  Prodij 

828  Si'cnt  System 
82©  Bri.stol  Diamonc 

830  Sam’s  A nival 

831  Knighte  of  St  J' 

832  She  Wd.  & He  ^ 

833  Duck  Hunting 
8i34  Trovatore  (Dranj 

835  Beal  and  Ideal 

836  Jack’s  Delight 

837  Robbars  of  Pyre 

838  Southerner  &c.  A 
639  »y  Son’s  a Da 

840  My  Wife’s  Relati 

VOLUME  57. 

841  Bobin  Hood  Burl 

842  George  de  Baniv 
8ie  Raaselas 

844  Valentine  (A) 

8445  Carte  de  Viaite 

846  Dark  Cloud  (A) 

847  Faint  Heart  did 
841  Dred  (Fair  iJ 
84©  Lady  Andley’s  SeJ 

850  Heart  of  Mid  Lot| 

851  My  Preserver 

852  Duke's  Daughter 

853  Under  the  Rose 

854  Forty  Winks 

855  Law  Leva 

VOLUME  68. 

856  Aurora  Floyd 
567  Buckatone  at  Hoi 
853  Beautiful  Haidee 

859  Trial  of  Tomkins 

860  Aois  & Galat®  Bu 

861  Blind  Bey 


Postage  Stamps  received  in  payment  to  any  amount. 


SIXPENCE 

^iorry  Widrjw 
Waing-  tho  Truant 
onz  o Brave  ( burisq 
ittle  iSentine] 

Tr  o V a t or  e ( B urle  q ) 
oeping  Draught 
aarrning  Pair  (A) 
‘noked  Miser 
busin  Tom 


EACH  Post  Free  and  of  all 


'■OLUME  69. 
cket  Leave  Ifan  Ig 
Jeron  (Opera) 
leiry  Bounce 
j-  iiich  shall  I marry 
loMotto  (Burlgq) 
fCkot  of  Leave 
ake  your  Wills 
anhoe  (Buxlosq) 
jed  Forty 
1 at  Coventry 
s Last  Victoiy 
i Babaor89  theives 
irn  him  out 
..millas  Husband 
‘ lent  Vf  Oman  (A) 

OLUME  60. 
infred 

■ ' u i >leB  eddedR  0 om 
Sal  .Boatman 
iou 

rates  of  Putney 
'>sy  rfiiaviiig  (day 
gh]girayman’s  Holi 
•iriam's  Crime 
:cu8uxg  Spirit 
‘Liere’u  your  Wife 
( .ariniag W •man (A 
*auty  or  the  Beast 
r Hurt’s  in  High- 
itle  Daay  (lands) 
'^rtunes  .fe’rolic 

iOLUME  61. 

.10  Gold  Is. 
jti§  it  Panel  ope 

IView 

jkoti  Fetters 
{vd  ftfi  a Hatter 
fhne  Bcrliot’s  Ball 
I{pheu8  & Eurydice 
ng  Arthur 
jve  and  Itain 
^iy  Bello  Belie 


9.Ti  Maid  of  Honor  f VOLUME  63 
b aust  Burlesque  1008  Serf 

93G  MonasteryofSt.  Just  1007  Love  Chase 


937  My  Wife’s  Maid 

938  Actors’  Retreat 

939  Timothy  to  Rescue 

940  Mazourka.  (Burleaq) 

941  Deborah  (lioah) 

942  My  Dress  Boots 
t)43  Music  hath  Charms 
94'!)  On  the  Sly  [Game 

945  Woodcock’s  Little 
VOLUME  64. 

946  How  will  they  Get 
Out  of  it  ? 

947  Henry  IV.  Part  II 

948  Doing  Banting. 

■949  My  Wife’s  Bonnet 

950  (.ymlieline 

951  Snowdrop 

952  Sybilla 

953  Lad  from  Country 

954  Mother’s DyingChild 

955  “Grin”  Bushes 

956  Cupid  and  Psycho 

957  Hercules  & Oniphale 

958  Notting’ein  Brothers 

959  Princes  Spring  Time 

960  Lesson  in  Love 
VOLUME  65. 

961  Laurence’sLoveSuit 

962  WilfulAVard 

963  Octoroon 

964  Trapping  a Tartar 

965  Mrs.  Green’s  Snug 
Little  Business 

966  Hidden  Hand 

967  Our  new  Man 

968  Brigands  of  Calabria 

969  Going  to  the  Dogs 

970  Billing  and  Cooing 

971  Rustic  Prima Donna 

972  B order  Marriage 

973  Faces  in  the  Fire 

974  I’an.fan  the  Tulip 

975  Pirithous 

VOLUME  68. 

076  Playing  with  Fire 

977  Three  h'uries 

978  Ample  Apology 

979  Waritedayounglady 

980  Ulysses 

9.81  La  Soiinambula  Bq 
plen,  £20  Reward  982  Steeple  Chae® 
jirgate  Sands  {983  Pan" 

jxiel  of  a Wife  |984  Fazio 

liliini t’  dC  onhdence ' 985  R oc amb  ole 

986  Will  and  the  Way 
9m7  One  Tree  Hill 

988  Up. stairs  and  Dowi 

989  Fair  Pretener[8tair3 

990  Two  Gontlemn  infix 


Volume  62. 

Jver  Lining 
fui’o  Return 
^ap-^s  (The) 

^ea  Belle 

Jst  Ciiiid 
jnus  and  Adonia 
|j:apl8stiltekm 
Jawing  Ro«m  &c. 
^rry  Wives  Wind 
^,ih,  Petruchio^soi 
^ril  Fool  (An) 

Jd  Lot  (An) 
hg’s  Wager 
Wow’s  Victim 
{VOLUME  63. 
nse  and  Sensation 
-llaen  Bawn 
UAt  for  a Hasbaad 


VOLUME  G7. 

991  Ernani  (Burlesque) 

992  Windsor  Castle 

993  VVai*  to  the  knife 

994  Pouter’s  Wedding 
996  Better  Half 

996  Mud  borough  Eleeti 

997  Prince  Carmaralzan 

998  Calypso, Bari  esq  [an 

999  Dinner  for  Nothing 

1000  Hunchback 

1001  Caught  by  the  Cufi* 

1002  Turned  Head 

1003  Charles  12 
10i>4  Loves  Sacrifice 
1005 1’Africaine(Baid€q) 


1008  Paul  Prj’’  Married 
liK)9  Whokill’dCockRob 

1010  Papillonetta  [in 

1011  Orpheus  in  Haymar 

1012  Adrienne  [kot. 

1013  Cleft  Stick 

1014  Chang.Ching.Fou 

1015  Rip  Van  Winkle 

1016  Behind  Time 

1017  Prometheus 

1018  Man  withCarpetBa.g 

1019  Princess  Priinroao 

1020  Lottery  Ticket 
VOLUME  69. 

1021  Flies  in  the  Web 

1022  PipkinsRustic  Rtr’t 

1023  Lending  a Hand 

1024  Fly  and  the  Web 

1025  Day  in  Paris 

1026  Luke  the  Laborer 

1027  Susan  Hopley 

1028  Rob])er’s  Wife 

1029  Der  Freischutz 
l03()  Ocean  of  Life 

1031  Lady  & Gent  in  a 
Perplexing  Prodic. 

1032  Ticket  Leave  Man’s 

1033  FirstLove  [Wife  Is 

1034  Snapping  Turtles 

1035  Eddystono  Elf 

VOLUME  70. 

1036  Child  Stealer 

1037  Court  ofLions(Bur 
103S  Photographic  Fix 
lu39  Clock  on  the  Stairs 

1040  Found  in 4-wh0c. lor 

1041  Loves  Martyr 
1042Bride  of  Abydosd’ly 
1043  Werner 

104^4  Barefacedimpostor 

1045  BlueBeardre.pair’d 

1046  Loves  Labyrinth 

1047  Capitola 

1048  Managress  in  a Fix 

1049  Revenge 

1050  Two  Gregorios 
VOLUME  71. 

1051  Fair  maid  of  Perth 

1052  Flying  Dutchman 

1053  Tromb-al-ca-zar 

1054  Man  of  the  World 
.1055  Married  Rake 

1056  Windmill 

1057  Weathercock 

1058  P oil  & Partner  J 00 

1059  Jack  in  a Box 

1060  Society  Is. 

1061  Charcoal  Burner 

1062  Rayners  up  toTown 
l0t>3  Pting  A the  Keeper 
1064  LadyLak0(Burlsq) 
1066  1 of  VouAIustMarrjr 

VOLUME  73. 

1066  Comedy  of  Errors 

1067  HauntdMill(Opereta 

1068  White  Milliner 

1069  Hut  Red  Mountain 

1070  TwoGallej  Slaves 

1071  Sin  & Sorrow  [Cat 

1072  Woman  that  was  a 

1073  Belle’s  Sti  atagem 

1074  Larkins’ LovttLetter 
1076  Doing  My  Undo 
1076  LittleDonQiovanni 

1U077  Lucia  Lame nnoor 


Booksellers 

1073  Mayor  of  Gar 

1079  Taming  a Tij 

1080  Jean  nett’s  Wei 
volume  73. 

10.81  Meg’s  Divers 
l082TweoiUeton’s'l 

1083  Blanche  Heri 

1084  MoreFree  tha 

come  (Pant 
10vS5  Good  Night  S 

1086  Love  by  La 

1087  Neighbours  ( 
10.88  Newington  Bi 

1089  Faust  (Oiymi 

1090  Speak  Gut  Bo 

1091  My  ’rurn  Nex' 

1092  VVallaco  tlie  1 
of  Scotland  (Te 

1093  Incomnatibili 

1094  MisFirsr, Cham 

1095  Orangtj  Giri. 
VULiJ.ViE  74. 

1096  Yew  'J’ree  Rui 

1097  Suit  of  Tweed 

1098  VVifeof7Husb 

1099  Daughter  toM 

1100  Theodora 

1101  End  of  the  Tet 

1102  Monsieur  'J  oil! 

1103  Fighting  by  I 

1104  Simpson  I 

1105  Atrocious  Crin 

1106  Haud^  Andy 

1107  Love 

1108  Minerali 

1109  Davenport  Doi 

1110  The  Liar 


VOLUME  75. 
nil  Ingomar.  Is. 

1112  Roland  for  01 

1113  P’loatiiig  Bea( 

111 4 AdoiiisVanqm 

1115  Give  Me  My  W 

1116  Huguenot  Car 

1117  Fre.^ich  Exhib 

1118  Pygmalion 

1119  He  Lies  Like  T 

1120  Sister’s  Peuai 

1121  Best  Way  (p 

1122  Antony  and  < 

1123  Kenny  iigtou  C 

1124  Frankeiisteiu 

1125  Peter  Smiiik 


VOLUME  76. 

1126  Sleeping  Hare 

1127  Golden  Far  me 

1128  Unlucky  Fridt 

1129  Hypocrite 

1130  Id  alia 

1131  Cartouche 

1132  Princess  Chan 

1133  Gosfcip 

1134  Day  after  Fail 

1135  Our  Domestics 

1136  Slice  of  Luck 

1137  Woman  in  Mai 

1138  Pandora  s Box 

1139  Henry  Duabai 

1140  toylphide 

VOLUME  77. 


1141  Hern  an  i 
IU2  Always  Intern 
114<3  Clarissa  Hark 

1144  Six  Monfclis  Af 

1145  Poul-a-Dboil 

1146  LionSlayer(Fs 
il-i7  Old  Curiosity  i 
1143  Meute  Cristo 


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Fighting  by  Proxy 

Two  G-alley  Slaves,  o,  good  and  easy  Melodrama,  2 A 
Sin  and  Sorrow ; original  Drama,  by  Leslie. 
Woman  that  Was  a {jdX(Narce^G}ia/racters),icam  Scfc 
Doing  My  Uncle  (Original  Farce)  by  R.  Lacy. 
LarMns’  Love  Letters : Farce,  by  T.  J.  Williams. 
Tweedleton’s  Tail  Coat. 


Operettas  for  Two  Perfon 


Taming  a Tiger,  Farce  for  Three  Males. 

Mayor  of  &arratt,  newly  Adapted. 

Speak  Out  Boldly  \ Comediettas  for  2Fe^ 

Incompatibility  of  Temper  i and  l Male. 

My  Turn  Eext,  New  Fan'ce,  by  Williams. 

Orange  Girl. 

One  of  You  Must  Marry,  a New  Comedy  in  1 Act. 
Trombalcazar,  Operatic  Extravaganza.  Ofienbach. 


Meg’s  Diversion. 


I Bh 


